Life moving forward too fast

It has only been 4 and a half weeks since my husband and I lost Madeline. I feel like life is moving forward and changing too fast and it is overwhelming me. It feels like so long ago that I was laying in that hospital bed but it also feels like it was just yesterday I can't make up my mind it is just racing too fast for me to think most days. My husband has just been accepted into the radiology program he has been applying to for 2 years. It is very exciting for the both of us but also very bittersweet. Sometimes I can't help but feel like he gets what he wanted but I don't get what I want more than anything in this world. But I know that is unfair to him because he wants her too. In a perfect world Madeline would still be with us and he would have been accepted into the program. We would be celebrating the future of our little family. But the world is not perfect and I know God has a plan for us. It is just very hard to once again accept that Madeline will not be here with us, to see her daddy succeed in something he has worked so hard for and that he worked even harder for after we found out I was pregnant. Now my husband and I have to focus on building our new future for our future children, a life that Madeline would be proud of and that her future siblings deserve.