Life Long shyness
this is my first post i'm hoping there are people that can understand, here goes
I've always felt shy but as I got older Its clear I have bad social anxiety. Even around people i've been hanging out with for a while. I got teased a lot as a kid and it didn't do much for my self esteem and it made me quiet, as the right people got to know me it formed some good friendships that lasted and some that didn't. Now that i'm 24 I feel the anxiety more than ever with anyone I haven't known for years. I find myself falling out of conversations or not even knowing how to get into them and just drifting off into the background, which makes me even more nervous because I Feel like they can see it. Even at family get togethers with relatives I don't see that often are like that sometimes. I've often wondered if i'm boring or awkward, but people have told me on several occassions that i'm funny, a fun person and how kind and loyal I am. But then I watch the interactions the ones who tell me that have with other people and its so much more natural and free flowing that I end up in the background. 7 months ago I started hanging with a new group of friends a lot and I started feeling liked I belonged and was going out more. I got a little disconnected in conversations sometimes because they've known each other some much longer but It didn't bother me because they treated me like one of the pack and we still had fun. Now I hardly see them except for the one I met them all through and when I do it feels forced if they even invite me. I still have two of my best friends that I never doubt their friendship but it still really bothers me to feel like no matter what i do people are going to stop wanting to be around me. I'm not gloomy or a drip when I'm around people...I'm a good time with people who understand me I guess. I can't talk about my shyness with a lot of people, especially if they are the exact opposite.
I've always felt shy but as I got older Its clear I have bad social anxiety. Even around people i've been hanging out with for a while. I got teased a lot as a kid and it didn't do much for my self esteem and it made me quiet, as the right people got to know me it formed some good friendships that lasted and some that didn't. Now that i'm 24 I feel the anxiety more than ever with anyone I haven't known for years. I find myself falling out of conversations or not even knowing how to get into them and just drifting off into the background, which makes me even more nervous because I Feel like they can see it. Even at family get togethers with relatives I don't see that often are like that sometimes. I've often wondered if i'm boring or awkward, but people have told me on several occassions that i'm funny, a fun person and how kind and loyal I am. But then I watch the interactions the ones who tell me that have with other people and its so much more natural and free flowing that I end up in the background. 7 months ago I started hanging with a new group of friends a lot and I started feeling liked I belonged and was going out more. I got a little disconnected in conversations sometimes because they've known each other some much longer but It didn't bother me because they treated me like one of the pack and we still had fun. Now I hardly see them except for the one I met them all through and when I do it feels forced if they even invite me. I still have two of my best friends that I never doubt their friendship but it still really bothers me to feel like no matter what i do people are going to stop wanting to be around me. I'm not gloomy or a drip when I'm around people...I'm a good time with people who understand me I guess. I can't talk about my shyness with a lot of people, especially if they are the exact opposite.
Replies
Hi I am slightly on the shy side when it comes to groups one on one is much easier. Want to chat sometime just reply
Hello. I have read some of your posts. Firstly i will say happy birthday as I know it was recently. I hope that you got out on that day looked at the clouds in the sky and smelt the flowers in the breeze.
Birthdays are very important to me and so is appreciation of others. It's nice to be recognised. I'm different to you. Im 40 and very outgoing, house parties , barbeques, campfire in the garden, you make it. 4 weeks ago I had an operation, I am housebound and now in a wheelchair, there is no panic though I will recover and be back on my feet and back to myself in a few months.
3 friends is all I have heard from and in last few weeks just 1. Its beem very theraputic as I have realised that despite being in big groups, being the party girl, the host, the driver. When I am not myself and worse for wear the crowd disappears.
I'm not shy by no means but I now question myself and everything I thought I was. If people visit in 2s i can't join a conversation..my mojo is gone, maybe all this time I am the the person I thought I was... x
I hope you have a successful and speedy recovery. I'm sorry your "friends" have not been around to support you when you're down. It definitely sounds like there are some fair weather friends in your life, when you're the life of the party people forget that theres more to you than that and they never try to connect with sides of you they dont get to see. The most of any of us has if we're look is 3 really good friends we can count on and really trust. The others are the kind that are just there to have fun with, and that's ok. I really hope more of the true blue ones shows there support through this time and identify themselves. I'm glad that the time without the crowd has been good for you in some ways too. If you ever need to talk feel free to message me.