Life is OK
Well, we got through Christmas. Still emotional, but not as intense as the past two years. Still glad that it is over. Now to face New Year's.
At almost 3 years, I believe I am doing and feeling the best that I have in a long time. Never thought I could say that I love living on my own, but I do. Was not my choice and never thought I would be a widow this early in our marriage, but we were dealt the hand and I had to learn to make the best of it.
I've learned to be careful when conversing with the outside world. They mean well, but they just don't have a clue. Not their fault, and I don't expect them to understand. I understand. I took care of my husband. I made his funeral arrangements. And, I have learned to live without him. To this day, right now, I love him just as much as when he was alive, and I would give anything in the world if we could be a physical married couple again. Instead, I am content with remaining spiritually bonded as "til death do us part" does not exist in my world. He is still my husband as I am his wife and it is a good feeling.
Still adjusting with the aloneness, especially on the weekends. All I want is my husband to share this time with, but again, know that I can't have it. So I make the best of the hours, allow myself to be sad, allow myself to cry, and allow myself to grieve.
Richard was the only man I wanted to spend my life with, and I feel very cheated that I will never see our 50th anniversary together. My life today is OK, becoming peaceful, and things are falling into place the way they are meant to be.
I love you with all my heart, my dear husband. I always find comfort in knowing that when it is my time, you will be the one that returns for me.
Your everlasting wife, Debbie
At almost 3 years, I believe I am doing and feeling the best that I have in a long time. Never thought I could say that I love living on my own, but I do. Was not my choice and never thought I would be a widow this early in our marriage, but we were dealt the hand and I had to learn to make the best of it.
I've learned to be careful when conversing with the outside world. They mean well, but they just don't have a clue. Not their fault, and I don't expect them to understand. I understand. I took care of my husband. I made his funeral arrangements. And, I have learned to live without him. To this day, right now, I love him just as much as when he was alive, and I would give anything in the world if we could be a physical married couple again. Instead, I am content with remaining spiritually bonded as "til death do us part" does not exist in my world. He is still my husband as I am his wife and it is a good feeling.
Still adjusting with the aloneness, especially on the weekends. All I want is my husband to share this time with, but again, know that I can't have it. So I make the best of the hours, allow myself to be sad, allow myself to cry, and allow myself to grieve.
Richard was the only man I wanted to spend my life with, and I feel very cheated that I will never see our 50th anniversary together. My life today is OK, becoming peaceful, and things are falling into place the way they are meant to be.
I love you with all my heart, my dear husband. I always find comfort in knowing that when it is my time, you will be the one that returns for me.
Your everlasting wife, Debbie
Replies
I prefer living alone if I can not be with my husband then alone is how it will be. It has been longer for me and I still mourn for him and cry but I have learned to do so alone or here at DS as people do not think I should still be missing him and they all want me to get involved with someone. Not what I want so I just keep how I feel to myself! Hugs!
beautiful letter. many people prefer living alone, but our society doesn\'t make it \"okay\" to say that. its lovely that you are united in spirit. i think friendships are like that as well, its a spiritual thing. its either there or its not. it can be YEARS since you see someone and then when you do, its exactly the same. xxoo