Life is just too hard
Sometimes I think that dying really wouldn't be all that bad. I hate dealing with life and all of the emotions it brings. I try so hard to please everyone and it is all for nothing in the end. For almost three years I have put up with so much from my boyfriend. He has depression and is worried that I will leave him now that I am in a sorority. The thing is though the more he gives me a hard time the more I just don't want to be with him. I love him with all of my heart but I can't be kept up in a box. He wants me to enjoy life but he wants to be involved completely and that just won't work. I am tired and I am sick of either feeling anxious or depressed. I could never kill myself because I don't want to hurt the ones around me....but that is the only thing that is stopping me. I don't want to hurt anyone, so I will continue to endure life.
Replies
I\'m sorry you\'re having a hard time. I think being part of a group at school will be good for you. Having your own activities will give you stories to tell your boyfriend when you do get together with him. Maybe you can encourage him to make/or spend time with some of his own friends so that he too will have stories to share.
Despite the hype that is often associated with the school years try to hang on to the fact that these are not the \"best years of your life\". Not by a long shot. When your having a day/week/month/or year that sucks. Try to remember there are better days ahead.
My advice is to never build your life around other people. Build it around you and share it with others. By living for others and trying to make them happy, it can make you miserable. There are some people you can never please and by trying to do so, can fuel depression and anxiety.
Take care of you first. It is not being selfish; it is like being on a plane where the oxygen masks come down. If you try to help somebody else first then you may pass out and then nobody gets helped. If you take care of you first, you then may be in a place to help others.
There are three types of relationships: H, A, and I. H relationships are where each partner has their own lives and then occasionally come together. A is where the partners are closer, having their outside lives, and their together lives. In an I relationship, there is only the together life. Depression can also cause a person to become needy, seeking for the other person to make them happy. This is caustic and a recipe for disaster for both people.
Anyway, these are my opinions and I am often wrong. I hope you feel better soon.
Do not build your life around him sister. It ends in more depression, regrets, and anxiety. Live your life to the fullest. Tell him how you feel and if he can\'t accept it then he may get left. : ( Missed you by the way.
Thank you guys to much! it is some great advice and I know that the rain can\'t last forever.