Life is just a waiting game I guess...

My husband is going to try and limit my time on the computer. I was told in a very angry tone at the top of his voice that he's done with me spending 5 hours a day on this damned thing! I looked at him. Shut off the computer and haven't spoken to him since then other than to tell him that I was on DS to journal and talk out some crap in my head. I thought he'd be elated that I found a way to get it out of my head and heart without having to bother him with it! :) What a jackass he's been recently. I can't even begin to go there right now.
We've had our troubles over the years...some in the pretty recent past. He's had drug issues since before we met that I had no idea of. He almost got us all killed about 3 years ago now. He had people coming in the house and taking things of value to cover his debts with them. They weren't the nices of people. We started to get threatening calls and visits when we hid all the valuable things we could. We had to change the doors and locks as well as the phone number and such. That is just the tip of the iceburg. I can't get this all out of my head so I am journaling it. Maybe I can let it go then.
This past January 19th he was coming home from work in the wee hours of the morning. He's had a few with the work buddies and they let him walk from the main street leading into our subdivision. It's about 2 blocks from the road to the house. About 1 block from home and 3 guys jump him and beat him severely. They didn't get much. Most of his paycheck, but nothing like his wallet. Still not hard to figure out where he lives. Anyway he's beat up very badly. Could have lost his left eye is what the Dr said. They did a CT then MRI and by nothing short of God's grace, nothing was broken. He was a prep cook, however and wasn't able to return to work until they could determine if there was any permanent/residual damage to his eye or head. He lost his job and didn't work for 7 months. When Mom died she couldn't hang in there one more minute. We had to give back her SSI money. That leaves now a $1200 gaping hole in the household budget. The bills haven't gone, just her ability to contribute. One of her biggest fears was what happens to us if anything happened to her. huh...
Now my hubby is back to work. We don't have any milk in the house, nor the money to buy any. We may not be able to pay the electricity bill and it's the first one in my name. I don't know who I can turn to for help. It's going to be 3 weeks before my hubby gets paid. His job was not on the books before so there wasn't even Unemployment to fall back on. ( He's on the books this time!) I just don't know where it will come from. We do have some essentials from the food pantry at Church, but it's not enough for us, so we are just trying to keep the kids fed and the lights on.
I praise God for the blessings he's given. We are abundantly blessed! My husband has a job now and I still have a job, although it's going to be somewhat different now. I just pray that God doesn't give up on us now! I don't think he will, but what if I am not learning the lesson he's trying to teach me?
   

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

I feel so sorry for you! Your grief plus this added stuff... I pray things work out for you. Have you talked to the electric company? Most cities, have a few food pantries. I am glad he\'s back to work and was not hurt any worse. Take care. (HUGS) Kristine
beaniesgirl
beaniesgirl

Thanks Kristine. I found out I have a bonus coming on this check, so I may be able to pay the electric bill in full, but other things won\'t be covered. I am going to ask my Church for help. They have been so good to our family in the past. I just have to let God take care of the details. I believe He will. This constant adjusting is really unnerving though. Eh, we\'ll get through it! Thanks for thinking of me. :) (HUGS) Rachel