Life is getting complicated

Lately, my life has been throwing me some major plot twists. Some have been good and some have been a little hard to take. I came back to the US for the summer from Denmark at the end of June in order to save some money on rent as rent is almost double what it is here. The first plot twist was finding out my body wasn't absorbing nutrients like it's supposed to and was causing early spine degeneration (usually happens in normal people at 50) that was ultimately the cause of my leg pain. Luckily, it is reversible at my age and it has gotten a lot better since I've started seeing a chiropractor regularly. It only took three doctors in two different countries to find out what it was but I am glad to have gotten that problem sorted out, however, it turned out to be the least of my problems. I recently got diagnosed with epilepsy as well after having a second (major) seizure in three years. While the last one was due to low blood sugar, the cause of this one was unknown. I found out that I've probably been having a lot of complex partial and absent seizures that I don't even know are happening which is scary to think about. I am eternally grateful that I found this out here in the US at home and not in Denmark where I would have had to deal with it alone. I was able to have my mom in the hospital with me by my side. Right now I am in the process of finding a good neurologist and getting my medications in order. The one that I am currently on has caused some pretty bad side effects and I need to be sure that I am set medication wise before I head back to Denmark in November. Fingers crossed that works out soon. School is still very hard. I failed a class and I passed a class. I look forward to going into my second and final year and not letting my failure hold me back from getting this degree. It is going to be mine.

In good but equally depressing plot twist news, I found my soulmate and he's the son of my mom's best friend from high school. We spent a couple of weeks with them in July and we hit it off, but neither of us was willing to admit it. At least he wasn't willing to tell me. He told his mom who told my mom who told me (like we're in high school or something). I understand from his point of view. I live in another country and that's where my loyalties lie and that's exactly why I didn't tell him I felt the same. This week we went on a road trip together as I am staying with his mom for the month to stay the geography of Kentucky for my thesis, but I am not technically allowed to drive by myself. We had the best time. We had so much in common and there wasn't a time when we didn't stop laughing. This man was literally a reflection of me. We could be the same person. So for the first time in my 26 years of life, I told someone I liked them only to find out that he now has a girlfriend whom he started dating two weeks ago and is a former ex. You know what, though, I'm not even devastated or sad. I'm very proud of myself. I finally felt enough confidence in myself to tell someone I liked them and I realized very quickly that a soulmate can very well just be a friend and that's okay, too.

Perhaps fate has different plans one day for us or for someone else, but for now, I need to continue growing for me and focusing on making myself a better person because I've already seen so much growth. I know I am destined to be better. I could let all of these things stop me, but I am not. I am tired of being tired and scared and holding myself back. I am tired of crumbling every time something bad happens. I am going to grow and remember that the sun is still shining behind all the dark clouds and if not I will be the sun.