Life in it's self is hard.

I never thought I would see the day I struggle to get up out of bed. My life changed on October 23, 2014 at 2:30 am. As most people in my family handled grief I was told to be strong for everyone & not show any emotions so I learned to hold it all in. Now I struggle with being lonely, not good enough, I'm always sad, & everything I used to enjoy I feel like I can't do it anymore. I would rather just stay in the bed all day long by myself so I could just get all the emotions out but instead I have to get up and put my fake smile on & be happy for everyone around me. It's like why am I the only one struggling to move on & be happy. I am depressed all the time & my family just doesn't get me anymore.