Life In General

Well.............I almost don't quite know where to begin.
Oh, here's a bit of a neat tidbit.  My hubby & I were, a short time back when we had an usually mild day, walking thru our city parks big english garden.  This particular area has tons of chickadees that love having people strolling around providing you've got black sunflowers in your palms to feed them.  They'll land in your hand to eat.  So we're strolling around & I didn't have any seeds (I totally had not thought of it) & I was watching a few people with their hands out to feed the chickadees.  OK heres the strange part-I kept having chickadees landing on the ground around me or hovering around me.  I kept saying I'm sorry little guys I don't have anything for you, go see the other people holding their hands out.  We kept walking & I came across one woman who was there to feed & didn't have birds around her.  I said to her that she should come over my way cause they appeared to be following me & she'd have quite a few to feed.  She started to come over & said to me "here maybe you shd take a few of mine" & she gave me a small amt of seeds in my hand.  Well you've heard the term chick magnet, well folks I guess I can say I'm a chickadee magnet or a pied piper for chickadees, who knows.  I still can't figure out why they were so attracted to me but man it was a brief moment in time that just makes you feel good you know.
Healthwise, I'm on a really wild roller coaster, way up, way down & on & on.  I just can't seem to stabilize to the point that I want to be at.  It can make me so angry at times but I usually manage to rein myself in & get control again.  I've been focusing on more guided meditation time & I know that it really helps me.  One good thing, I saw my rheumy & he's doing a gradual reduction in my prednisone which was totally fine with me.  I'm still taking the methotrexate injections & I really do think that it is really reeking havoc on my digestive system.  I'm in the process of being seen by a gastroenterologist who has done a blood work series, stool sample series & is going to do an ultrasound for the gall bladder & pancreas area & at the beginning of Dec I'll be having a colonoscopy.  I almost don't really know what my thoughts are in this particular situation.  I have moments where I feel like I'm not relying enough on the Lord to walk with me, major doubts here, but then again I do accept that this is the path he wants me to walk right now.  What can I say?????
Hubby's doing not too bad at all most of the time but we sure can tell with the air getting colder & hence thinner how it sometimes affects his breathing but you stop & remind yourself how you need to pace yourself & things balance out pretty darn well.
Dad is a day by day thing & alot of times a depressing day by day thing.  I don't really know where things are going to go.  Has anyone been in a similar situation where everyone seems to want to skirt the issue rather then just sit down, face it, attack it, deal with it or whatever.  I find it makes it hard to really know what I need to do in the big picture.  I do know his last PSA test was going back up again & the dr said the next step would have to be chemo but it's like even this is temporarily not talked abt, just don't know sometimes.
Does anyone have some extra sunshine to spread around.  We've been so gloomy here, way more then usual.  I've never been affected by this but I'm wondering if as you lets say mature it can affect you differently.  I'd even accept the way cooler temps if we could just squeeze in a bit of sun.
Well I guess thats it for now.  I hope all is well with all my dear friends.  I do so love you all.