Life Hurts

I feel like shutting the world out, or wishing I never existed.  Once again, I'm in the grip of depression.  Life's problems are too much to handle sometimes.  The kids know when I'm sad, but they don't fully comprehend how it affects me.  Still haven't found the right therapist....not that it matters anymore.  I probably need a higher dose of antidepressants, right now I'm taking 20mgs. per day.
It hasn't affected my daily routine of getting up in the morning and going to work.  I'm able to function as normal while talking and laughing with my co-workers.  I'm always professional.  However, on the weekends...it's a different story.  I'm usually alone, and I don't have to pretend that everything's ok.  I've cried so much lately, that I barely have any tears left.  I want the emotional pain to go away, but this is an unrealistic expectation.  I'm carrying a heavy burden on my shoulders and it's become unbearable.  It's easy to feel isolated and misunderstood by others. 
I feel thankful for DS because I've been able to reach out for support and encouragement.  Without it, my circumstances would be harder to cope with.  I really appreciate my DS friends....love you all.  This site allows me to express myself without fearing judgement and criticism. Thanks.