Life Goes On
I can't seem to get better from my depression. Seems it should be so easy just to lift my spirits up but I just go on and on feeling the same day after day. I wake feeling despair and gradually quicken up through the day. By nighttime I feel OK but then bed sleep start from the bottom again. Its so tedious and boring.
I am in despair how to deal with it-saw pdoc on Friday but no change to meds. Do I just accept that this is how its going to stay?
I can't think of anything to do to change things.
All I do is talk with Ivan, read, work, commute, watch Tv eat play with Arnie-is this enough for a life? And what will the next year bring and the year after that?
More of the same till I die of boredom?
Just have to enjoy feeling OK when I do and be grateful. I am lucky to have a best friend who cares about me and to live in such a lovely spot by the beach and to have a dear little dog in my life.....
Just need to feel content and not crave excitement.
I will be patient and content and grateful. I will accept life as it is and not go anticipating the future. Who knows the future anyway?
I am in despair how to deal with it-saw pdoc on Friday but no change to meds. Do I just accept that this is how its going to stay?
I can't think of anything to do to change things.
All I do is talk with Ivan, read, work, commute, watch Tv eat play with Arnie-is this enough for a life? And what will the next year bring and the year after that?
More of the same till I die of boredom?
Just have to enjoy feeling OK when I do and be grateful. I am lucky to have a best friend who cares about me and to live in such a lovely spot by the beach and to have a dear little dog in my life.....
Just need to feel content and not crave excitement.
I will be patient and content and grateful. I will accept life as it is and not go anticipating the future. Who knows the future anyway?
Replies
Hello Dear Dinah,
How I relate to so much you\'ve said. Sometimes the boredom is so crushing. I try to stay busy to make it go away, but there is only so much I can do since I live in an isolated area and have an extremely limited income. Plus, I have a husband who would rather watch TV than do much of anything. Like you, I have an adventurous spirit and I feel trapped in a reality that cannot accomodate my true self.
I too must appreciate what I have. A person who cares for me, a beautiful place to live, a pet who entertains me, books to take me to far off places. The \'experts\' say not to regret your past, to live in the present, and not to worry for the future. Like you said, I will not go anticipating the future.
One thing I noticed while reading this journal was your past journals. I think it may help you feel better if you go back and read them. I don\'t know. But there are lots of positive journals you\'ve written. Maybe looking them over will help you feel less hopeless about the future?? They may remind you that things are not always as hopeless as you feel right now.
Love to you. Glad we got to chat today. It\'s always so nice for me to start the day with a chat with Dinah!
Try a new hobbie maybe Dinah? I said hobby not hubby. lol A beach is a great place for metal detectors. I have found a few items of interest with one. Bet Arnie would help you dig up the gold deblumes. Surf fishing, you got to like that. Ok guy stuff what can I say? Try this one painting the awesome sunset you must see sometimes on those beach walks. Here is a real brain storm now. Messages in bottles with your DS name on them or maybe your DS photo, I tell you now those young sailors ships will be running aground lookin fer u. joe
good grief, December had better hurry up then aye babe, we need to get out there and do more but hey don\'t been hard on yourself ok you\'re doin an alright job babe you\'ll be alright I know you will. love you heaps and will chat to you again soon..xxxxxxxx
Thank you for your support friends! People commenting on my journals really touch my heart.
that\'s cause you\'ve got lots of people on here that think you\'re awesome Dinah, We love you babe. Big hugs and chat to you later this arvo when I get home. MWA
Hang in there, Dinah...you aren\'t alone. Maybe you should meet new people, or travel somewhere. It seems like the same old routine is too predictable....therefore, boring. Talk with Ivan, maybe he can offer a few suggestions. Hope it all works out. ~Love~
Sabrina
I just thought of more ideas. You could take a jewelry making or pottery class. Have a dinner party, and invite a few close friends, or add a creative spark to your love life. If you like reading, join a book club. Good luck!
Dinah, You have been such a blessing to me since we became friends! If this is you in a depressed state of mind, I can only imagine what you have to offer not depressed! As one depressed person to another, I can only talk from experience that you have to look for something each day to be thankful for. I gave mself a motto: I will be better today than yesterday! I am trying to live by this. It is not easy. No change is easy. Learning to live a new way is not easy. I only want to encourage you to look at one thing everyday - even if it is only that you got out of bed today! I understand as I live this with you and I am here with you if you need me!
Thanks all of you my lovely special DS friends. Would you all like to come for dinner next saturday?