Life? Death? Other?
I hope if you are reading this, you will accept the irony of my font choice TERMINAL. I cannot answer the above question so I ask you, my dear wise ones, to think, pray, reply.
I have suffered with FM, chronic fatigue, all the other lovely issues that go with for 12+ yrs now. I am not one to complain but do as I must to reduce pain & remain functional.
My former dr retired and an even worse nightmare occurred in that I lost all pain meds and compassion. I've jumped thru all hoops I was given and still, the "god of rheumatology" (HORNSBY) who was the last straw told me "exercise & reduce stress" was the protocol for FM and not any pain meds, muscle relaxers or anti-inflammatories. I explain I have nothing and that I have been forced to go to the ER with pain. Again, "exercise & reduce stress" were the "magical words" of care & solution given.
After another night of no sleep because of PAIN not other issues, I remembered Dr. Sakley who first dxd me 2003-2004 and thought he may be a bit more compassionate as well as helpful.
Why am I giving all this info? Because for the first time during this nightmare, I'm contemplating suicide. Why I haven't? I cannot locate anywhere in the Bible specifically where one goes when contemplating and acting upon suicide. This life is miserable but to live in ETERNITY in torture is another issue altogether. I used to have a list of why not and now that list isn't as helpful as last child will be leaving for college, etc.
So, words of wisdom my dear folks? I understand the hesitancy to prescribe pain meds; I volunteer at the jail where the effects of addiction are all too visible. But I was "told" by Drs that the "goal" was to give me more good than bad days and to help me LIVE. Well, I've not been able to be a the jail doing what I love for 3 wks and not sure at this moment if I will make it tomorrow. I have missed mailing the jail mail newsletter out in November and wonder if I shall make December. My days consist of trying to escape pain not living. Therefore, I am NOT LIVING but only alive.
If I mention this to the drs. it evokes no sympathy or understanding but is considered a ruse to obtain drugs as I am a "addict" looking to score. If I wanted, the gals I know at the jail would hook me up and I wouldn't have to deal with stupidity. HOWEVER, I AM NOT A FREAKIN' ADDICT! I want to live and control the pain as much as possible.
IDEAS???
I have suffered with FM, chronic fatigue, all the other lovely issues that go with for 12+ yrs now. I am not one to complain but do as I must to reduce pain & remain functional.
My former dr retired and an even worse nightmare occurred in that I lost all pain meds and compassion. I've jumped thru all hoops I was given and still, the "god of rheumatology" (HORNSBY) who was the last straw told me "exercise & reduce stress" was the protocol for FM and not any pain meds, muscle relaxers or anti-inflammatories. I explain I have nothing and that I have been forced to go to the ER with pain. Again, "exercise & reduce stress" were the "magical words" of care & solution given.
After another night of no sleep because of PAIN not other issues, I remembered Dr. Sakley who first dxd me 2003-2004 and thought he may be a bit more compassionate as well as helpful.
Why am I giving all this info? Because for the first time during this nightmare, I'm contemplating suicide. Why I haven't? I cannot locate anywhere in the Bible specifically where one goes when contemplating and acting upon suicide. This life is miserable but to live in ETERNITY in torture is another issue altogether. I used to have a list of why not and now that list isn't as helpful as last child will be leaving for college, etc.
So, words of wisdom my dear folks? I understand the hesitancy to prescribe pain meds; I volunteer at the jail where the effects of addiction are all too visible. But I was "told" by Drs that the "goal" was to give me more good than bad days and to help me LIVE. Well, I've not been able to be a the jail doing what I love for 3 wks and not sure at this moment if I will make it tomorrow. I have missed mailing the jail mail newsletter out in November and wonder if I shall make December. My days consist of trying to escape pain not living. Therefore, I am NOT LIVING but only alive.
If I mention this to the drs. it evokes no sympathy or understanding but is considered a ruse to obtain drugs as I am a "addict" looking to score. If I wanted, the gals I know at the jail would hook me up and I wouldn't have to deal with stupidity. HOWEVER, I AM NOT A FREAKIN' ADDICT! I want to live and control the pain as much as possible.
IDEAS???
Replies
Have you tried a pain clinic. They have other options.
Have you tried Lyrica. It kills the pain but isn\'t considered in category as narcotics. Just be aware you must step down slowly if you decide to stop.
I do an aquatic arthritis class it helps immensely with my pain and mobility.
I\'ll be praying for you hang in there. God is still good.
OH MY DEAR NAN! Just posted to FM group site! I was yanked off all meds in May 2014 and have nothing. I\'ve ended up in ER due to pain. WENT TO PAIN CLINIC AND ALWAYS PASSED. They will not give pain meds. I\'ve done all that was reqd of me and still no help.......
Is the pain general or is it in specific places like back or feet or stomach?
Try a different doctor ...is there a teaching hospital anywhere around?
Pain relief is a patient right tell them its a 10!
So Sorry. I cannot imagine what you are going through. 30 years ago I participated in a one year long program for chromic pain management. We met for 6 hours a day 4 days a week. I learned many, many things and I was able to stay off meds. However, I only followed the program for 6 years before I started up taking my meds again. It was a very rigorous program and it was too tough for me to do every single day for the rest of my life.
I don\'t know where you live or what health coverage you have or what\'s available to you, but don.t give up! Go to every dr you can get to until you find the dr willing to help you. In the meanwhile there are many therapies other than a dr that can help take the edge off. If you are interested let me know.
Don\'t give up. You are too important to us. Your life matters.
I am so sorry you are going through this. It is awful that the doctors are ignoring you on this. I completely understand that hopeless feeling, been there too many times myself. I\'ve had tremendous pain myself with FM. This suggestion may not help whatsover, but have you heard of LDN (low dose naltrexone)? I was reading a blog about a woman not long ago that was in your same situation. She was all the sudden cut off from pain medication because the new doctor that took over decided she was an addict. She went through so much agony being abruptly cut off like that, that she wanted to find another solution if she could. She did finally find another doctor that would prescribe the pain meds and she got back on them but she never wanted to go through that again so she started reading about LDN. The only problem was that you cannot be on any narcotics or some other types of pain medication while LDN so she was trying to wean off but last I read, she hasn\'t been able to. But if you\'ve already been off the pain meds for a while, this might be something you could try. It helps a lot of people with pain. I was getting in so much pain myself that I too couldn\'t stop thinking about wanting to die. I take LDN now and while it hasn\'t taken away all my pain, it has seemed to help a lot, made it bearable at least. I found an online source so I wouldn\'t have to go through convincing a doctor to prescribe it, but it\'s possible to get the cost covered through insurance that way. I\'m just throwing that idea out. I have no idea if it could help you or not. But feel free to ask me more questions about it if you want to. I figured out a way to take it sublingually to make it more effective for me.
I will be praying for you. Horrible chronic pain is one of the worst trials ever I believe.
One more thing, boswelia extract helped a lot too but took a little while to kick in. They say it takes weeks to take effect. It started to make me nauseous so I stopped it but I may have been taking too much for my system.
Also if the idea of a ever torturing hell is torturing you, and you ever feel up to talking about that, I\'ve got lots of thoughts on that. For those of us that have gone through so much misery on earth with years of chronic illness, we tend to think subjects like that through more than most. There is a great biblical case (not just made up ideas by someone) that an ever torturing hell is not how it will be. Edward Fudge has written thorough books on the subject using every scripture that could pertain to that. I think his last one is called \"Hell, a final word\". And I certainly don\'t say that to encourage you to go ahead and end it all. God has us here for a reason, so hang on, and don\'t think about tomorrow, just get through this day. I just wanted to mention this because I know for some, especially those of us that tend to think of things like this more, the thought of anyone, including ourselves, being tortured for eternity is an unbearable thought.