LIfe continues

Life continues regardless of our pain and we need to keep going even if every step gets heavier. 
Carlos:
I miss you more everyday that goes by and I cannot stop wondering where you are and how I can reach you.  I talk to you everyday and ask God to keep you safe until we meet again.  I am surviving but don't know how I manage.  For the past month I got a cold that does not seem to want to go away and part of it is because my body is just tired, sleepless nights wanting you here with me.  I stare at the four walls feeling lonely and longing for you. 
As you know we are now grandparents to a beautiful granddaughter that reminds me so much of you.  I cried for both of us when she was born because you would have loved to be here.  I know that you would be so happy and proud of her.  It started on Feb. 14, Valentines day, a day that hurt so much because you were not here with me.  I was having a bad day missing you and feeling lonelier than ever and wanting to just disappear.  Monica came to work with me and while at work she started feeling some cramps called her doctor who suggested we take her in for an evaluation.  I took her in and she had to stay because the contractions were coming more frequently.  Well, by 8:44pm, Aleena our granddaughter was born.  Said was a happy dad and you know he told me "Mom, you know my daughter was born on Valentines day and the reason is because my dad does not want you sad on this day and you have a beautiful reason to be happy from now on.  Thank you Carlos.  Said is such a great dad and he takes good care of his daughter. Rosela was telling me that he reminds her so much of how you took care of them when they were young.  You did a great job with them and they miss you so much.  I got  call from Celia who said that when she saw the pictures of Aleena she cried because she imagine you holding her and how happy you would be.  I know that you are with us.  I just wish I could see you one more time.
Yes, Carlos, I know that I must be strong especially for our granddaughter.  She will know so much about you and will love you very much.  Rosela said that she will talk to her about how much you would have loved her and what a great person you were.  Said is staying at Monica's parents house for another week until the room at home is completed for the baby.  The baby was due March 1st but instead I got a Valentine's gift, thank you honey and I love you very much.  Every morning when I go to the cementery, I say One more day without you but also one more day closer to seeing each other again.  Love you Carlos and I am missing you.
 

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

The birth of a grand baby is wonderful blessing. It hurts that we don\'t have grandpa here to share it. It makes it so bitter sweet. I have had one since Dick died, another on the way. That will make 6 grandchildren that will not get to know their pappy. But when I\'m with them, I see him in the things that they do. It helps a lot. You will enjoy this granddaughter so much.
Hugs,
Kathy
deleted_user
deleted_user

Congrats on the new little one. From experience grandchildren do give us a reason to go on if nothing else then to keep our dear husbands memory alive and let them know what a wonderful person they are
KipB
KipB

Congrats Grandma. Carlos made sure you will always have something to smile about on Valentine\'s Day. Hang in there. Hugs, Kip.
annihilated
annihilated

Before, If you went away, and Carlos stayed at home, if it was for you, like it was for my husband, we would miss each other terribly, but he would always say to have a good time and enjoy myself, go out, have fun, make the most of every moment, and I would, until I could be back with him, and I think it is like that now.
We have this time, and we need to choose to make the best out of it we can, and then we know we will be back together again. It hurts so badly the aching and longing, but because it hurts so much we can\'t afford to stay stuck in it. It is too hard. We could spend every ounce of energy we have, every day of our lives grieving for them, but it will never change what has happened to them, it will only change what happens to us.
Somehow ,we have to lift our eyes, ask God the plan He has for our final years, and try to look at today, not yesterday, not even tomorrow, but today and find whatever purpose, beauty and joy that we can in it.
I pray God wraps His loving arms around you and holds you so close you can feel His heart, and a deep abiding sense of peace.
deleted_user
deleted_user

What a wonderful Valentine\'s day gift. Congratulations! Hugs from Sil