Life as it is now.

My course life has been a rather rocky road, having its ups and downs. But I'm trying to motivate myself to finish it.But I have to say I get the most joy out of going to the young people's meetings at my church, and the Sunday meetings. I enjoy talking to the twins, cooking, trying to talk more to other people, singing and well seeing John.At the moment I am trying to think of him more as a brother, so as to feel less flustered when around him. As well as trying not to think of him all the time as my future husband. ( Sometimes its better not to promise yourself something that  you don't know is certain.)Yeah I'm just trying to get myself to get used to him as being any other person, and not as a lover.