Life as I know it.
My dad thinks they are gonna keep him in the hospital longer than he expected because his doctor just wants to be through about things.. I think it's better that he's in the hospital right now but I know how frustrated he is that he's not home by now.
It's been kind of difficult for me lately because emotions and stress get the better of me and I -fail- at communicating or sharing my emotions UNTIL THE POINT WHERE I AM ALREADY BREAKING DOWN. My bad.. I even realized I wasn't really blogging about my life on my tumblr.. Wasn't talking to my friends, my family.. I was just letting it all build up.
Another thing that I want to do is just kind of be more careful about my back, It hurts and I have a pillow behind it on the chair I'm in, I hope that'll make the pain a little better.. I'm probably just paranoid but I really do want to get this checked out by a doctor (even though I hate going to the hospital) because it's been like this for a while.
It's been.. difficult with having little food (or being extremely picky and ocd) in the house, But i'm managing and I guess it'll get easier (I hope) as time passes.. I actually got through last night even though I was still pretty anxious over what happened on sunday night.. I had fun, I watched some television and played some video games with my brother and we don't normally hang out like that, It was nice.
My friend and me who are seemingly on and off between being friends and being at odds with each other are doing better, It's just been so stressful and emotional on us both for very different reasons, We lash out and we say things we don't mean.. But we always make up, I was a fool to think not having him in my life would make anything better, I'd probably just be more upset than normal.. he's great and this isn't his fault, he didn't ask me to love him.. It's not my fault either.. I never asked for this.. But I like the way I feel about him, He's special
I'm also really glad that I've been getting close with his fiancee, Shes really nice and I regret so much of what I said and how I treated her before.. They are really good together and if anyone ever accused me of trying to separate them, I'd hurt those people.
It's just.. more along the lines of me trying my hardest to figure out what I want and also how to deal with the stress of every day life and the situations I've been in.. I don't know how I manage, But somehow, eventually.. I find a way.
It's been kind of difficult for me lately because emotions and stress get the better of me and I -fail- at communicating or sharing my emotions UNTIL THE POINT WHERE I AM ALREADY BREAKING DOWN. My bad.. I even realized I wasn't really blogging about my life on my tumblr.. Wasn't talking to my friends, my family.. I was just letting it all build up.
Another thing that I want to do is just kind of be more careful about my back, It hurts and I have a pillow behind it on the chair I'm in, I hope that'll make the pain a little better.. I'm probably just paranoid but I really do want to get this checked out by a doctor (even though I hate going to the hospital) because it's been like this for a while.
It's been.. difficult with having little food (or being extremely picky and ocd) in the house, But i'm managing and I guess it'll get easier (I hope) as time passes.. I actually got through last night even though I was still pretty anxious over what happened on sunday night.. I had fun, I watched some television and played some video games with my brother and we don't normally hang out like that, It was nice.
My friend and me who are seemingly on and off between being friends and being at odds with each other are doing better, It's just been so stressful and emotional on us both for very different reasons, We lash out and we say things we don't mean.. But we always make up, I was a fool to think not having him in my life would make anything better, I'd probably just be more upset than normal.. he's great and this isn't his fault, he didn't ask me to love him.. It's not my fault either.. I never asked for this.. But I like the way I feel about him, He's special
I'm also really glad that I've been getting close with his fiancee, Shes really nice and I regret so much of what I said and how I treated her before.. They are really good together and if anyone ever accused me of trying to separate them, I'd hurt those people.
It's just.. more along the lines of me trying my hardest to figure out what I want and also how to deal with the stress of every day life and the situations I've been in.. I don't know how I manage, But somehow, eventually.. I find a way.
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