life after caregiving

Today I saw my grandmothers hospice nurse at the restaurant that I work at now. I try not to think about everything at work, but seeing her there, all the memories came flooding in. I cried for the first time at work. For like two hours, all I could think about was my grandmother and the struggle that she went through to get to the other side. And when i got off work and came home, All I could think about was how my grandma and grandpa aren't here and how different my life is now. I have been enjoying the freedom that I have and being able to actually interact with other people on a daily basis. But when I come home at the end of the day, It just feels empty here. I haven't really dealt with their deaths yet because I have just been focused on working and paying the bills. Every time that it would hit me that they were gone, I would just force it out of my mind and focus on something else.