Life After 2013

 
Hello. I am back after a long hiatus from my journaling. I had a nice Christmas and actually fell asleep about 11p. on New Years Eve and slept until about 1a. That's the first time I have done that in several years.
 
So it is mid January now. I was just feeling good about Halloween time and was dieting and conscious of what I was eating, etc. But that didn't last long. I seem to go through a cycle. I start feeling better as the weather begins to warm up. It is a real slow(and I have a problem with putting things off too)in building to a good and positive feeling. And then it gets hot and I don't want to do anything but set in front of the A/C. Social anxiety is a problem so I don't go out and do things. And then in September and October I start trying to do things again and then it gets cold. Ugh! What a vicious cycle. And with upsets due to O.D.D. or bi-polar my anxiety goes up and I can't do anything for quite a while. Pathetic huh?
 
The kids are doing well now. My daughter is bi-polar and had a bad bout this last September (2013). She's back to normal now. Thank goodness. And my grandson is doing okay. They both have a outburst occasionally but usually when they are both tired.
 
My granddaughter is working and doing okay. I think she is on her meds. She is bi-polar too. Had attempted suicide twice so I hope she is staying on her meds. I worry about that. She comes to visit occasionally but worked weird hours.
 
I am very thankful for the normal times. One of the facilities where we were getting PSR, counseling, etc. closed in 2013 so we had to find another facility. Our regular counselor was going to a certain center and gave us info on it. And we went there. So that was a help. I was pretty anxiety driven there for a while thinking about what we would do. We have to have these things in place or it all goes to h--- in a hand basket. Its a balancing act and the counselor helps keep things that way.
 
I wish I could have personal counseling of my own. But having it for the kids is paramount. I can't afford it for me. They get it with medicaid.
 
I am thankful that there is no major problems right now My grandson is doing well in school. He got 3 A's and 2 B's last quarter. Very proud of that. School behavioral issues had been a major problem and now he is doing well. I am so thankful.
 
Right now I am on three medications. One for my mood and one that helps that work better. It doesn't but just a very little bit. I could tell the difference when I went off of it for a few days. Then I also take one for my thyroid. I had never had a problem with my thyroid, had it tested years ago and not problem. Now I have thyroidism. Also have low HDL, chronic kidney damage and am pre diabetic. So I need to be careful. Yet I still want my cookies and milk at night and I don't eat much vegetables. Fruit occasionally. Now in the summer I do a lot better. Winter is the pits and I just don't care. Don't care a lot more in winter than in summer. I really need to move to a warmer climate. Then maybe I could get it together, lose some weight and get out more.
 
So, anyway- I am doing okay. Hope it lasts. Looking forward to Spring.
 
Nomaste
 
E.