Lies&truths

Ive lied to so many times to my girlfriend she tells me she doesnt know or when to believe me. Iying caused the most damaged on our relationship. I guess when i was telling her a lie it wasnt to hurt her initiative but for not responding to flaws or to the lack ability of being a man in her eyes. Since ive met her shes beem the biggest inspiration to me. I would lie to her sometime just to make myself look good to her. My biggest fear was the perception she would have of me and the fear of the outcome in the situation at hand. There was times when i told her onething and it completly happen another way or didnt. I began to repeat and repeat it and repeat. Time got harder for me in the certain situations and the times became a bit more common. I know at the end of the day now matter what i should of told the truth about any and every situation. Cause she would of respected the truth more than me risking our relationship. I relaized by me lying that actually was puttimg my relationship at risk. Whether big lie little lie. I was risking everything i had with this women and didnt care cause i disnt realize. When u tend to not care cause you dont realize you beimg selfish to your partner. Ive being doing exercises on my my brain to allow me to reverse the symytom that got me to this point. Exercise my muscle and allow it to recover from it but put it in the other direction.