limbo

so the doctor sends me to the rheummie and he says I don't think you have Lupus.  Just before I leave he says I need some labs from you 12 vials and urine test and I will see you in 2weeks.  So is my fibro getting worse I had a positive ANA, reflex showed mctd, sle and polymyositis? c-reactive protein was high, sedementation rate was high, elevated wbc, pit 423, proteinuria 30 a small rbc.  Muscle twitches, pain in the neck, hair falling out, photosensitivity, pins n needles sensations, numbness and tingling, tired, can't function.  I wish they had never told me they thought it was lupus.  I just wish I knew what was going on I am like a zombie that sits in a chair or lays in bed all day.  My forgetfullness is getting worse and I cannot pay attention at times.  Maybe Fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, raynauds, sleep apnea, TMJ are just flaring all together??  My skin hurts, my bones, joints and head hurts.  My feet and hands swell up, turn red and burn.  I can pee, I can't pee maybe it is all in my head.  I hate going to the dr.  I just shut down to many have looked at me like I'm crazy.  Or they say we all get tired and experience pain from time to time.  I am so tired of games and not knowing.  The rheummie said I think its fibro and you need pain management.  I will do pain management he would know the signs and symptoms so.....  Why did the dr. office do that I was so scared and now I have unanswered questions...I guess...I am done I am so tired of this 10 years of ????'s  fibromyalgia is such a life sucker..whatever....