letter to my school councelor/rejected
i wrote this letter to my school counselor asking for some guidance. i gave her a picture of my childhood. she replied that my story was sad but inspiring. she told me that everytime she met me she thought i was very kind. she also used a term: rejected in her reply. "rejected" it opened my eyes when i read that word. it made sense. in therapy with molestation you always hear "abandoned" and "ashamed." when i first met my therapist i told him no need to worry i don't feel ashamed of my uncle molesting me. at 6 years old there is no way you can tell me that it could have been my fault - moving forward. the "abondonment" i guess. i didn't feel abandoned. i felt something - lost. i didn't know exactly what i was feeling. i did not have the word and neither did my therapist. so when i lost friends i took in personal. i took it bad. they had abandoned me. for me abandoned means all alone. i am not alone. i have a good family who would do just about anything for me. i was being rejected. that made sense. actually i am okay with rejection. everybody is not going to like me and i am not going to like everybody. abandoned seem so final. hearing my therapist used that word made me sad. it made me feel like no hope. i did not know how i was going to dig myself out of a hole if i was alone. i can dig out of rejection. i self-talk to myself. i say all kinds of positive things to myself. it works. i tell myself to calm down, it's going to be okay, i am sorry, i will protect you, and please let me get through this. itg has really been making a difference.
Replies