Letter

So I wanted to give a quick update. I wrote my mother a letter using mostly "I" messages. I explained to her that I do not have the resources now after my son has passed to deal with her unkind remarks, complaints about Joshua & Christina & how no one pays enough attention to her etc. I explained that my mental health and stress level cannot be challenged any more and tried to encourage her to imagine what my life without my son feels like. I explained that for the time being I will not be visiting,taking phone calls or responding to letters from her as I need a break.
I asked her to respect my need for space.

I do not have any illusions or even hope that my mother will hear what I've said or respect my need for a break and time and space to heal. I suspect she will be angry and leave many ugly messages with her in the role of victim and me in the role of villain. So be it. I am drained and tired and cannot tolerate her cruelty anymore. I just want to mourn my sweet son in peace and hope to heal one day.

My brother and SIL are bracing for her screaming phone calls about how she is cursed with an ungrateful daughter. He knows how she is because he lived the same childhood although he agrees that I was the child she usually targeted. The one "good" thing that has come of this is that my brother has been helpful and validated what I've gone through with her. He lives out of state so has little interaction with her, but knows how she behaves.
I wish you all peace and healing. Love to all.