Let's Get Started!
I've been reading about the benefits of a pain journal. However, I kind of view that like a food diary, I see the benefits for some people; but for me it causes me to obsess and focus too deeply on the issue. If it works for others, absolutely do what works, but for me I find a note of positivity to be much more beneficial.
So here goes; It's true I twilight sleep each night, and have now discovered the TRUE meaning of the word 'exhaustion', but the silver lining is that I will never again oversleep and miss another beautiful morning. Each day is another chance and a clean page for me to write on (usually it is a dark comedy about pain). My eyes open each morning at 5 am, to my dismay and frustration, and there is no going back to sleep; no matter how tired I am. Therefore, I will always be up to see each sunrise. I think I'm going to take my yoga mat outside and and really salute the sun from now on. (If I can wrench myself from my bed, that is.)
Another paradigm shift. I was having difficulties settling my mind for sleep last night. My hubby, I don't know why, kept wanted to give me a step-by-step account of his struggle setting up our book on tape. I would drift into my buzz sleeping state, and he would say something. Ugh! I have those anxiety driven sleep-falling sensations as I drift off to half-sleep, very scary, and I kept thinking, "Not again!" So instead of snapping at him, which he doesn't deserve, he's been so great and understanding; I told him, "Sweety, I am being sensationally patient with you right now. I deserve a ton of credit, however, this wretched body of mine is not. Please let me pretend-sleep." I wanted him to understand it was my body and not my personality; that seemed to help us both. It's true that FM affects more people than it inflicts; our families (and/or those supporting us) need to be cared for as well.
Final thought; A coping mechanism I have found useful. I know that if my husband or children had gotten this wretched condition, I would have done anything to endure it instead of them! So, I remind myself that every day; I'd rather it be me than someone I love. I don't know why it has to be anyone. None of us deserve this; but I'm strong enough. Repeat to self: I-Am-Strong-Enough. You are too!
So here goes; It's true I twilight sleep each night, and have now discovered the TRUE meaning of the word 'exhaustion', but the silver lining is that I will never again oversleep and miss another beautiful morning. Each day is another chance and a clean page for me to write on (usually it is a dark comedy about pain). My eyes open each morning at 5 am, to my dismay and frustration, and there is no going back to sleep; no matter how tired I am. Therefore, I will always be up to see each sunrise. I think I'm going to take my yoga mat outside and and really salute the sun from now on. (If I can wrench myself from my bed, that is.)
Another paradigm shift. I was having difficulties settling my mind for sleep last night. My hubby, I don't know why, kept wanted to give me a step-by-step account of his struggle setting up our book on tape. I would drift into my buzz sleeping state, and he would say something. Ugh! I have those anxiety driven sleep-falling sensations as I drift off to half-sleep, very scary, and I kept thinking, "Not again!" So instead of snapping at him, which he doesn't deserve, he's been so great and understanding; I told him, "Sweety, I am being sensationally patient with you right now. I deserve a ton of credit, however, this wretched body of mine is not. Please let me pretend-sleep." I wanted him to understand it was my body and not my personality; that seemed to help us both. It's true that FM affects more people than it inflicts; our families (and/or those supporting us) need to be cared for as well.
Final thought; A coping mechanism I have found useful. I know that if my husband or children had gotten this wretched condition, I would have done anything to endure it instead of them! So, I remind myself that every day; I'd rather it be me than someone I love. I don't know why it has to be anyone. None of us deserve this; but I'm strong enough. Repeat to self: I-Am-Strong-Enough. You are too!
Replies
ambibambi - I am a 66 year old male who was Dx\'d with fibro in 1994 but have probably had it since 1982. Also I have had not a pain free day since April of 1987 so I sure know what it is like to have fibro.
In addition I have had sleep issues for years - never seem to sleep more than two hours at anytime & when I am in bed I always seem to be half awake. Only in my recliner sleeping do I actually sleep without feeling like I am in a trance.
To make matters worse I am now chemically sensitive so not only can I not take any of the meds that they think may help east the pain from fibro I can\'t even take aspirin these days so I always feel the full force of fibro from my head to toe pain each day.
I like what you said about you are so glad that your husband & your kids do not have this disease. I have always said that I would not wish this stuff on my worst enemy. I too have lost a lot of friends & others due to my inability to do things or go anywhere
Currently I live by myself but I don\'t know how much longer I will be able to do that. Also spend about 95% of each week alone with just a few phone calls & emails. Am disabled, just trying to not become an invalid.
Simply put I tell people that I\'m in my 60\'s - act like I\'m in my 30\'s - feel like I\'m in my 90\'s\" - a good sense of humor does help.
Do hope this DS group will help you & that the doctors may be able to help you. Also say that fibro is like a snowflake - none of us are exactly like the other so what may help you may not help me.
Feel free to send me a PM if I can share anymore with you.
Best wishes!