LET IT GO
It will be 8 years Dec 30 since Ken left this journey to his eternal journey. So much has happened as I am sure you all have experienced. One thing that has been said to me is beyond my understanding. Not once have I ever said or though t or wriiten that I wish someone would die and would never ever think that about one of my my children. One of Kens daughter borrowed money from me with the promise to Repay me back, which at this time I know I will never get my money back, but was pretty sure when I loaned it it would never be repayed. But to get me to not ask her about the loan, she stated that I had written Ken something to this that I wish he woul die. I am not sure if this isnt one of the worst things you can be accused of. I know without a doubt I never thought it never wrote or said it. It continued about other thing, but this was the most devestating statement anyone can be accused of. I am thankful for the time Ken and I had before he lost his ability to talk, read or text that I know if anything had been said like that he would have questioned me. Ken knew without a doubt how much I loved and love him. Why someone wants to hurt another with those words is beyond me. The only thing I can determine, she is a very angry person or very hurt, I really dont know. I have peace knowing what I said or did not say to my son. We always were open with each other. I hope my granddaughter finds her way not trying to hurt others. I love her as I love all my children and grandchildren. My God be with all that feel they need to strick out at others in such a demeaning way. I know Ken is at peace and while he was on this earth he knew that my love for him was deep and that never wouls I have thought anything like that. Sure do wish he was still present in this world. I do not want to let what she said to haunt me so maybe writting this I can let it go.
Replies
I'm sorry for what was said Sandy, no doubt out of anger, yet still, so very hurtful to hear. "Let it go" is the best advice and you've given it yourself, so....deep breath, long exhale, and let it go. I hope writing about it here has helped with that process.
Ken knew, and knows, of your deep love for him. That was never in question.
Prayers for your granddaughter to find her peace and compassion and for her too to "let it go".
Tight hugs my friend,
Teri
That was so terribly cruel and hurtful! I don't understand how people can live with their conscious after hurting someone else so deeply! My friend, let that 'tongue-stabbing' go, because you know the truth. I pray that your hurting heart will heal from this undeserved stabbing. Focus on the loving bond that you and Ken shared, and still have. I understand your pain, and I feel your hurting also. Warm hugs to you, my friend. xxx
Your relationship with your son is between the two of you and you know what is in your heart and what is in Ken's. I'm so terribly sorry that your granddaughter felt she needed to share what she did and what came in for me is that she was totally trying to deflect and get out of her responsibility by trying to level you. A derailing kind of moment that I'm certain she does not feel and or believe, yet came in because she was feeling fear which often presents itself with angry and harsh thoughts and words. Deepest of sighs.
Letting it go is a big one and when it tries to sneak back in remembering to let it go again and again.
I'll be thinking of you as this tender time approaches sending some peace and light to your heart and also to your granddaughter's because those are words coming from a hurting heart.
Loving and gentle care,
XO Joanie
Joanie said it much mor politely. I on the other hand, think your granddaughter sounds disturbed to me. I think she needs help.
Please try not to let her hurt you. It is enough that you lost Ken. We on FMO know how much you love your son. And how much you miss him.
I understand the pain, especially at this time of year. Lisa's angelversary was on the 1st.
Love and tight hugs. Lisa's mom, Marlene
Thanks all. I know my granddaughter just wanted to say something that she felt would get me off her back about paying me back. I dont really feel hurt what she said it was more than just saying that she also said other things which were never said by me. I felt if indeed I had written anything like that or even thought it, i would feel horrible. Knowing I didnt gives me peace just sad for her to feel she had to strike out. And trust me if she ever heard anything like that she would not wait 8years to throw it at me. I am at peace with my feelings for Ken and know his feelings for me. I know she hooked up with someone that she has praised helping her through her daddys death. Type ofadvice I have no ideal. But it is sad. Her mom moved away, we live in Indiana, maybe she feels she has been abandoned I really dont know. I do know I loved Ken, he loved me and that is what is important. I love her too, just think she is on a path that is not good for her. So sad Ken would feel. Love to you all...love to Ken and mom.....
Hello Sandi, I'm so sorry your granddaughter lashed out at you with those hurtful words. You and Ken shared a deep love and nothing and no one can change that. Tight hugs, Linda