lessons in life........

We all prejudge people whether we realize it or not. Sometimes we get these preconceived ideas or thoughts in our heads and "decide" something about a person based on how they behave(d) or a comment they made at one time - even though we really don't know them well enough to make a "decision" as to who they "are".  Well, I had a good lesson today that had a few meanings that sent a good message to me. Anyway, as I was walking into church a woman (who I "know" but don't really "know") called out my name and walked over to me and gave me a huge hug.  She said she's been thinking of me and have been wanting to give me a hug for awhile.  Well, I was a bit taken back by that but I figured it had to do with the presentation my husband and I did about the drug education for parents because I saw her there.  I "know" her because I taught a 4 of her kids in preschool, she was on the board of our school, and she's my neighbor.  She has a strong personality and never was one to withhold her opinion.  It isn't that I disliked her - she always has been very friendly to me but I felt a distance from her based on a few comments she had made in the past.  In addition, being that she's a neighbor I know she had to have seen the police cars outside of our house numerous times.  So I knew the cat was out of the bag, so to speak and didn't feel uncomfortable when I saw her. Well, at the talk - when I noticed her - I figured she attended do her "parent thing" because she's so accomplished (nursing and law degree) and her kids go to a private school and she has this .... I don't know - can't explain it.  And then at the end of the talk when the parents could ask about anything to the panel, she asked if there was a law stating how old a child has to be in order to be left alone. It had nothing to do about drugs. Then I thought "What are you doing here?"  I know now. After she hugged me she thanked me for the program and told me how brave and courageous I was, she told me that she's been attending Al Anon for over 25 years because she and her mom are recovering addicts. She said some other things after that but I don't remember because I was taken back by what she said.  On one of our slides we had a photo of a casserole.  We stated that when people have illnesses, such as cancer, the whole community rallies around - sends cards, flowers, gives words of encouragement, and makes casseroles. Families and people with mental illnesses/addiction/or alcoholism, however, do not receive any support.  We call that the No Casserole illness. The last thing this woman did say, that made me chuckle, was .... "I'm going to bring you a casserole!"  I laughed.  She said she was serious!  It made me smile.  It made me feel better, not just about what she said per say, but the fact that I realized that my perception of her was so off, that I misjudged her and I know that I must practice what I "preach".  We talked about the stigma of addiction and how people place judgements on addicts and then...... Perhaps running into her this morning was for another reason, as well. Maybe it's a sign that I must keep doing this.....    Oh - I just received a call from my son's former mental health/drug counselor and he asked me if I would be interested in presenting a program to a group of school guidance counselors next month!  Christmas time, no less.  I was flattered but I'm not sure.  It would take a lot of time to make changes and to customize it since the program was designed, specifically, for middle school parents in our community.  I think it's doable.  I just hope my husband will be on board with it.  We'll see.   

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

oh, I do know what you mean by that. We just simply have no idea what people are really, truly like, do we. oh goodness, how many lessons we learn throughout life. Love the casserole idea, unhappily so so true..:(.......I am in here again, having been out of it for a while for puter reasons and new partner reasons......though mainly puter to be honest, it has been playing up and I sometimes just havnt the energy to concentrate and get it BACK!...*sigh*...!!!! (((hugs)))Cathrynn XX
deleted_user
deleted_user

What you have done needs to matter to only one other person to make it worthwhile....I think you know that while the attendance may have been small or the response reserved, people are listening, learning and applying the information you have shared. Again, kudos - a job well done! Take Care!!