lessons in life........

We all prejudge people whether we realize it or not. Sometimes we get these preconceived ideas or thoughts in our heads and "decide" something about a person based on how they behave(d) or a comment they made at one time - even though we really don't know them well enough to make a "decision" as to who they "are".  Well, I had a good lesson today that had a few meanings that sent a good message to me. Anyway, as I was walking into church a woman (who I "know" but don't really "know") called out my name and walked over to me and gave me a huge hug.  She said she's been thinking of me and have been wanting to give me a hug for awhile.  Well, I was a bit taken back by that but I figured it had to do with the presentation my husband and I did about the drug education for parents because I saw her there.  I "know" her because I taught a 4 of her kids in preschool, she was on the board of our school, and she's my neighbor.  She has a strong personality and never was one to withhold her opinion.  It isn't that I disliked her - she always has been very friendly to me but I felt a distance from her based on a few comments she had made in the past.  In addition, being that she's a neighbor I know she had to have seen the police cars outside of our house numerous times.  So I knew the cat was out of the bag, so to speak and didn't feel uncomfortable when I saw her. Well, at the talk - when I noticed her - I figured she attended do her "parent thing" because she's so accomplished (nursing and law degree) and her kids go to a private school and she has this .... I don't know - can't explain it.  And then at the end of the talk when the parents could ask about anything to the panel, she asked if there was a law stating how old a child has to be in order to be left alone. It had nothing to do about drugs. Then I thought "What are you doing here?"  I know now. After she hugged me she thanked me for the program and told me how brave and courageous I was, she told me that she's been attending Al Anon for over 25 years because she and her mom are recovering addicts. She said some other things after that but I don't remember because I was taken back by what she said.  On one of our slides we had a photo of a casserole.  We stated that when people have illnesses, such as cancer, the whole community rallies around - sends cards, flowers, gives words of encouragement, and makes casseroles. Families and people with mental illnesses/addiction/or alcoholism, however, do not receive any support.  We call that the No Casserole illness. The last thing this woman did say, that made me chuckle, was .... "I'm going to bring you a casserole!"  I laughed.  She said she was serious!  It made me smile.  It made me feel better, not just about what she said per say, but the fact that I realized that my perception of her was so off, that I misjudged her and I know that I must practice what I "preach".  We talked about the stigma of addiction and how people place judgements on addicts and then...... Perhaps running into her this morning was for another reason, as well. Maybe it's a sign that I must keep doing this.....    Oh - I just received a call from my son's former mental health/drug counselor and he asked me if I would be interested in presenting a program to a group of school guidance counselors next month!  Christmas time, no less.  I was flattered but I'm not sure.  It would take a lot of time to make changes and to customize it since the program was designed, specifically, for middle school parents in our community.  I think it's doable.  I just hope my husband will be on board with it.  We'll see.