lessons

Things I have learned from my current (not so good) situation:   God is with us all…I know the anxiety/depression is hard…believe me! I know bad things happen to good people. I also know that I strayed from God when I thought my life was good but in hard times who do you run back to? Lesson learned…don’t just pray to God during the bad days…Lead a simple life…I have managed to complicate mine by trying to push forward. Nothing was ever good enough…learn that what you have right now is good enough! I wish I had…and pray for the day I can work through my mistakes and live that simple life! It will be several years but it will be!Have faith in the future…don't plan for the future...it will never be as you plan. Work towards your goal but don’t set it in stone as things will always change for the good and bad…go with the flow and have faith the path you’re on right now be it sunny or dark is the right path. Every tunnel has a light at the end…I can’t see mine yet but someday I will. I know everything looks black right now…this joyless/hopeless state is no way to live and the path ahead looks long and dark BUT this nasty path WILL END! This too shall pass my friends…I know you think it won’t just like I think my misery won’t but we’re a day closer to a better life! I have to accept that my mistake will take years to process and end…but how beautiful the path when it does end!Always have hope…never rely on dreams...they will only let you down because you can never have things as perfect as in your dreams. Dreams assume life is perfect…only God and heaven are perfect. Hope says that life will have ups and downs but everything will work out in the end. It’s hard to see that end especially when you are weighted down with anxiety/depression but it will come. And what a glorious day it will be!!Live for the day and be happy for it!! Don’t worry about what everyone else has…just be happy to lead a simple life. Easier said then done and I need to follow my own advice more but it’s true be-it hard in a poor state of mind. We CAN be happy in the face of darkness!Save money but don't deny yourself the simple pleasures in life...i spent my entire life denying myself good food, good clothes, vacations....and for what? it can all be gone in a second! your only security in life is your faith in God and life (See #3)...everything else in life can be taken away. your money, home, car...whatever material object you have can be gone in the blink of an eye. my point is not to be negative...just enjoy your life! enjoy that material object but never depend on it…it may be gone tomorrow. Don’t put yourself in debt…if you can’t pay cash don’t bother. You may be able to afford the loan payment but why add more stress to your life. Money truly is the root of all evil. One big financial mistake has my anxiety/stress/depression in full swing…it may be several years but this too shall pass…lesson learned. Questions? See #2!!GET HELP AND TALK TO OTHERS! I have suffered with anxiety/depression to one degree or another for 25+ years. Up until recently I was able to handle the stress but it was not a happy life when anxiety/depression kicked in. I would just suffer in silence until it passed. This could be months or even years! It’s not until my latest blunder that I was pushed over the edge. I couldn’t do this alone anymore and I needed help! I’m just starting to get that help now in the form of medicine and therapy. I’m still in a bad way but I feel like I’m taking the right steps in-order to continue on the sunny bright path ahead! I can see the path…but there is a gate in front of me. The gate has a lock. Getting help and talking to others will help me find that key! Once the gate is open I will be able to better deal with my current situation. I know my situation will not improve (until one day its over) but getting the key to the sunny path will allow me to live life until my situation is resolved. I envision that day…what a beautiful day that will be! I guess you have to face hell before you can truly enjoy heaven….I soooo look forward to the day my situation is over…good, bad or otherwise I just want it done. But how would I enjoy that glorious day and learn the valuable lessons if not to experience the worst? Would you know a good job if you never had a bad one? Would you enjoy a good dinner if you didn’t have a bad one to compare? I supposed life would be pretty boring if we didn’t have the ups and downs. If all we had were ups I guarantee as human beings we would find a way to bring ourselves down! I’m finding it very difficult to look at my current situation as a “good” thing and a learning experience….but as painful as it is…I know it’s true. I know 5 years from now I will look back at this, as I have looked back on many painful things in life, and say “wow, that was such a bad time in life…but it’s over now…and the lessons learned with remain forever to help keep me on the sunny path of life!” I know all of this sounds like a load of BS when you find yourself in the depths of darkness. When everyday greets you with a hopeless/joyless feeling the lessons above mean nothing…just a bunch of BS from some joker. We’ll I’m the joker…I’m living the hell of anxiety/depression as I write this post. Maybe it’s the Prozac kicking in….no, it’s only been 2 days…maybe I’m just having the oh so rare spark of hope…or maybe, just maybe, everything I just wrote is true. The door to heaven lies through the gates of hell my friends…knock, knock…We’re almost home  ;)