Less than a week left

Since I've already typed this once and it dissappeared on me Im going to make it a short version of what I already typed. I talked to the doctor on the 10th (my birthday) and she said since I only have a couple days maybe weeks left she didnt have a problem taking me off work till after the baby. So I got a nice birthday present. It was actually kind of sad.....I really really enjoy the girls I work with they are my best friends and it felt like I was leaving forever. LoL Even though I know I'm going back after Brayden 3 months is a long time. I see them daily more than I do my husband. But.....I didnt realize how bad I really needed this time before Brayden to get rested. Before I was always exhusted and miserable. Now Im rested and have some energy and feel like Im offically ready for Brayden to make his apperance. Theres only 2 things Im worried about now......our financial situation and my anxiety attacks. If we dont get our money soon I dont know what Im going to do. If Brayden dont come till next week or later thats almost 2 weeks before maternity leave I had to take and then if I have a c-section thats another 8 weeks so right there Im looking at being short 4 weeks already. Plus my husband approved to take 4 weeks which I think is great he needs to spend time with the baby also but it will be unpaid. I told him if we didnt get the money hes only taking 2 weeks. Theres no way we can afford all this time off. The anxiety attacks......after my miscarriages I started getting them I had them so bad I had to take xanax when I got them to make them go away. I havent had a whole lot since I got pregnant again but lately I've been getting them again. The one the other day was SOOO bad I couldnt talk myself through it I had to eventually lay down put headphones on and fall asleep. I told my doctor about it and she said if I ever get another one like that to take a xanax she said she'd rather me take the medicine then hypervenilate and lower Braydens oxygen intake. I havent had one since but I know as soon as I know Im in labor Im going to panic. I think it scares me more taking the medicine then it does having a panic attack. But I have to do whats best for Brayden. She said the medicine wont hurt Brayden but it might make his muscles wiggly right after hes born....so Im like how can that not hurt him? Thats my only 2 worries.....still not worried about delivery. Kind of scared about life after hes here. If I'll know what Im doing. Will I be able to handle it? After my miscarriages I also went through depression and i was on medicine up till a few months before I got pregnant with Brayden....so Im worried about will that raise my risk of getting postpartum depression? I always assumed after I got pregnant and had a baby the depression would go away because I was depressed because I couldnt have a baby. But I also know depression is a chemical imbalance so theres nothing I can do to prevent it if it is going to come back. Ok I guess I have more worries than I thought LoL.....but dont we all? I cant wait for Brayden to get here. Its like Christmas time Im so excited I cant even sleep at night time. LoL. Well I better let you guys go. I'll update more after my appointment Monday. Hugs Monica.