leave me alone please i cant take it anymore

Same day, another journal entry cuz i dont know what else to do with myself right now. i feel everything crashing down, i dont want to lose thi battle but i dont know how to fight right now, here at home, some how its different, i feel so helpless, i dont feel like i can win here because ed has control of me, i dont want to go to bed right now (its 23:50 here) because i am scared of waking up to the same fight tomorrow. I HATE THIS!! Why does it have to be like this? im powerless.