learning to live again.

It has been about a week or so since I have written.  I am finding myself staring into mirrors or looking at our favorite paintings to see if I can see him in them.  TO be honest I have. I have no idea what is real and what I have created in my mind but I find peace in this.  I have asked Danny every night to come to me in my dreams but have yet to see him.  Strange that my own mind would block this from happening. I go back and forth on the belief that there is something after this world and now more than ever I really want there to be. My thoughts are random and I can not seem to stay focused for very long on anything. I want Danny to speak to me more than anything, because I really want to know that he is at peace, and that he will wait for me.  I start to think this is a selfish thing to want as I know Danny should find peace beyond this world. However more than anything I just want him to let me know he is ok.  I think this will help me find peace, but who knows.