Learning to embrace me.....

I'm a knucklehead. And a butthole. And at times so self focused that it takes my breath away when I realized I've missed a dear friend's birthday or forgot to buy her a gift.
I get so focused on me, what I'm thinking, what's I'm feeling, who is to blame for it, that at times like right now, I'm SO tired of myself.
I'm reading another book by my new favorite author, Anne Lamott. While her books have a heavy "God and Jesus" theme running through it, she also is very open about sharing her recovery from alcohol and her sometimes, crazy, neurotic thinking and behavior. The thing that has resonated with me is the constant reinforcing underlying message that she knows who she is and while she annoys her own self, she is embracing it.
There's freedom in them thar hills and it looks accepting that I sometimes like to stay in my robe all day and then beat myself up for it. Anne probably hangs out in her robe all day too and knows that while today is Robe Day, and tomorrow may be Robe Day too, the day after that will Get Dressed and Get Shit Done Day. I like that way of thinking. It's letting myself off the hook...the hook that's always within easy arm reach.
So today I'm embracing my knucklehead-ness because soon my kindness and love with emerge with gusto. Life has taught me this and for now, I'm paying attention.