Leaning into Discomfort
Lately I have been triggered by people who start some Spiritual Path, whether it be Religious, 12-step, Co-dependency, etc. and after being there a short time. seem to have all the answers.
When I visited my brother in Tennessee (who has been studying what I call Truth for 2 yrs. now, had all the answers for everyone) THAT triggered me. Shelly (the girl I work with whom we used to not get along and DO NOW) attended a 3 day Co-dependency Workshop this past weekend) and now seems to be an expert on Co-dependency. She called me every night after her group sessions (which I find absolutely amazing and I am grateful) sharing how two of the 'other' girls were not doing the work right and she was. THAT triggered me. I have a friend who has once again started 12-step Program (maybe been going 2 months now) and she too KNOWS this program is right for everyone...
Anyway, this all is really irritating me. I have worked so hard, so long, so dedicated for 35 plus years and all of a sudden 'they' have it together after a few months.
I find it interesting it's not just one person that is showing me this, it is several. Last night I was watching a recorded session of Brene' Brown on her new book, Rise Up. She was saying "we must lean into our discomfort' (it's always about us) and see where it is coming from. I am a HUGE BELIEVER in doing this and I had been doing it, but seemed to get no where. This morning in my meditation, I seemed to be blessed with answers.
As I 'leaned in' I had flashbacks of ALWAYS being the sibling who worked the hardest: cleaned the most, cooked the most, took care of younger siblings the most, worked to give Mom money the most, etc. Cinderella I was! I worked hard and I worked continually. I did this as far back as 10 yrs. old when my two younger siblings were born; raising them.
Anyway, this morning, I realized my "HARD WORK" always went unnoticed; never a compliment, never a thank-you, never NOTHING. I did not exist. Two siblings who were my Mom's favorites had to do NOTHING and were continually noticed for any little things they did. Ah-ha!
So this morning, at the age of 65, I 'leaned' in and COMFORTED that little girl who worked so very hard and NEVER, EVER, got recognized for all she had done!
I am so very grateful for this epiphany this morning as it feels like a weight has been lifted...and now more Light can shine.
I knew this was NEVER about other's; I knew Spirit was knocking at my door and I wanted to 'SHOW UP!'
Thank-you Brene' Brown for showing up last night just when I needed to hear your words.
Another veil has been lifted and I am so very grateful!
HAPPY MONDAY
xo
When I visited my brother in Tennessee (who has been studying what I call Truth for 2 yrs. now, had all the answers for everyone) THAT triggered me. Shelly (the girl I work with whom we used to not get along and DO NOW) attended a 3 day Co-dependency Workshop this past weekend) and now seems to be an expert on Co-dependency. She called me every night after her group sessions (which I find absolutely amazing and I am grateful) sharing how two of the 'other' girls were not doing the work right and she was. THAT triggered me. I have a friend who has once again started 12-step Program (maybe been going 2 months now) and she too KNOWS this program is right for everyone...
Anyway, this all is really irritating me. I have worked so hard, so long, so dedicated for 35 plus years and all of a sudden 'they' have it together after a few months.
I find it interesting it's not just one person that is showing me this, it is several. Last night I was watching a recorded session of Brene' Brown on her new book, Rise Up. She was saying "we must lean into our discomfort' (it's always about us) and see where it is coming from. I am a HUGE BELIEVER in doing this and I had been doing it, but seemed to get no where. This morning in my meditation, I seemed to be blessed with answers.
As I 'leaned in' I had flashbacks of ALWAYS being the sibling who worked the hardest: cleaned the most, cooked the most, took care of younger siblings the most, worked to give Mom money the most, etc. Cinderella I was! I worked hard and I worked continually. I did this as far back as 10 yrs. old when my two younger siblings were born; raising them.
Anyway, this morning, I realized my "HARD WORK" always went unnoticed; never a compliment, never a thank-you, never NOTHING. I did not exist. Two siblings who were my Mom's favorites had to do NOTHING and were continually noticed for any little things they did. Ah-ha!
So this morning, at the age of 65, I 'leaned' in and COMFORTED that little girl who worked so very hard and NEVER, EVER, got recognized for all she had done!
I am so very grateful for this epiphany this morning as it feels like a weight has been lifted...and now more Light can shine.
I knew this was NEVER about other's; I knew Spirit was knocking at my door and I wanted to 'SHOW UP!'
Thank-you Brene' Brown for showing up last night just when I needed to hear your words.
Another veil has been lifted and I am so very grateful!
HAPPY MONDAY
xo
Replies
Congratulations \"Cindy\"! You can now stop waiting for the validation you never got, and never will; and validate yourself, which is what you\'ve been \"selfishly\" () wanting to do all these years. Self-validation. You noticed how hard and how long you worked, in order to survive by \'enabling\' your mother\'s behaviors toward you. A new paradigm of yourself. Pretty soon you\'ll may even stop punishing yourself with RA, IF it is a SOMATIC emotional illness, not a virus or infection. Wouldn\'t THAT be another miracle! Heal thyself Master/Mistress.
Sending healing love and Validation your way.
We Love You, We Bless You, We SEE the LIGHT (en-LIGHTENED-SOUL) in you! [an old Unity Blessing] Congratulations on your relieving breakthrough!!!
I feel it is a Self-Healing Breakthrough, a gift from your Soul, not just a relieving one.
Years ago I stopped putting my focus on RA and held to the Truth of me (whole, perfect and complete). I stopped trying to be perfect outside and sought the Perfection that Lies within me! Thank-you Rich. I must validate ALL of me! It\'s tough to \'lean\' into discomfort; but from all these years, I know it is right for me! I LOVE YOU, I BLESS YOU AND I BEHOLD THE LIGHT IN YOU! Oh how I remember that blessing! Sending it back to you! xo
Was \'Cindy\' a mistake or is it a funny? :-)
I love this Vicki. I think we can learn about codependency but applying it to daily life is a lifetime of work! And we don\'t always get it right or something slides. I thought I knew it all, a few years ago. Now I know, I will never know it all! I enjoy the learning. You\'ve been amazing in teaching and sharing with me. Your journey totally inspires me and my journey. I really relate to working very hard and a lack of recognition...it\'s the story of my life. I am learning to try and praise myself. However in this instance, I\'d like to praise you and say how wonderful you are :)) xxxx
It is a funny, in reference to your comment about being \"Cinderella I was\" in your journal, paragraph 4, sentence 2.
Thanks for the blessing!
How did I miss that?
Cindy
\"Cindy\". That\'s cute Rich. Vicki, one of my brother\'s favorite ways to tease me is to sometimes say to me \"Hi, my name is Lisa and I know everything!\". I guess that is one way to cope with a bossy older sister. I know I am bossy that way and I\'m thankful to be called out on it in a humorous but kind way on occasion.
We talked about this topic in ACIM Vicki. Several people in the group said they wanted to \"evangelize\" when they first \"got\" the ACIM message for themselves personally. They said part of it was being excited and wanting to share and part of it was continuing to judge. And we all agreed that we had been triggered on occasion my others doing this...
Great insight.
I recently read Brene\'s book Rising Strong as well. I love her message and her humility.
Thank-you everyone!