LEANING IN...AGAIN
WITHOUT JUDGMENT OF MYSELF AND ALLOWANCE OF MY FEELINGS, I AM LOOKING AT ENVY, JEALOUSY, MANIPULATION AND AT TIMES, THE NEED TO STILL WANT TO CONTROL.
I AM GLAD SPIRIT IS BRINGING ALL OF THIS TO MY ATTENTION AND I AM GIVING MYSELF PERMISSION TO LOOK AT THEM WITHOUT LABELING THEM BAD...THEY JUST ARE!
I OBSERVE THESE FEELINGS IN MY EARLY SILENCE (INSTEAD OF IGNORING THEM) AND I CAN CERTAINLY UNDERSTAND WHY THEY HAVE BEEN THERE; IT WAS THE WAY I COPED MY WHOLE LIFE. NOW, I BELIEVE, THEY ARE SHOWING UP TO BE RELEASED. THAT BEING SAID, I AM WILLING TO SURRENDER THEM AND WILLING TO ACCEPT THE SHIFT THAT IS HAPPENING.
HOW CAN I JUDGE OR CRITICIZE MYSELF FOR LEARNED BEHAVIORS; FOR COPING SKILLS I LEARNED TO BEST SUPPORT MYSELF IN MY DYSFUNCTION.
I AM WILLING TO FORGIVE ME.
HAPPY WEDNESDAY EVERYONE. IT IS RORO DAY FOR ME AND I HAVE PREPARED HIS 'KINGDOM' WITH HIS TOYS EVERYWHERE AND OF COURSE, HIS FAVORITE...BOXES!
XO
VICKI
I AM GLAD SPIRIT IS BRINGING ALL OF THIS TO MY ATTENTION AND I AM GIVING MYSELF PERMISSION TO LOOK AT THEM WITHOUT LABELING THEM BAD...THEY JUST ARE!
I OBSERVE THESE FEELINGS IN MY EARLY SILENCE (INSTEAD OF IGNORING THEM) AND I CAN CERTAINLY UNDERSTAND WHY THEY HAVE BEEN THERE; IT WAS THE WAY I COPED MY WHOLE LIFE. NOW, I BELIEVE, THEY ARE SHOWING UP TO BE RELEASED. THAT BEING SAID, I AM WILLING TO SURRENDER THEM AND WILLING TO ACCEPT THE SHIFT THAT IS HAPPENING.
HOW CAN I JUDGE OR CRITICIZE MYSELF FOR LEARNED BEHAVIORS; FOR COPING SKILLS I LEARNED TO BEST SUPPORT MYSELF IN MY DYSFUNCTION.
I AM WILLING TO FORGIVE ME.
HAPPY WEDNESDAY EVERYONE. IT IS RORO DAY FOR ME AND I HAVE PREPARED HIS 'KINGDOM' WITH HIS TOYS EVERYWHERE AND OF COURSE, HIS FAVORITE...BOXES!
XO
VICKI
Replies
HAPPY WEDNESDAY!!!
I really like this Vicki. I often get the envy / jealous feelings, especially regarding Paul\'s very wealthy ex. Recently.I am enjoying sitting with those feelings because actually no expensive hair do, clothes, teeth whitening, flash car or big house will ever fill me up. I wonder why they impress/effect or disturb me so much? I think it\'s because I come from a place of lack. When I sit with this it makes me feel \'fuller\' and I am soothed. I learn so much from you Vicki. Thank you xxx
Hi Rosie! I definitely came from a place of lack also. However, it is NOT TRUTH of us; it\'s learned behaviors/beliefs that has us believe this. There is a place in us that no one can touch; it just is. And that place is pure LOVE. RoRo has gifted me with the recognition of this love; how very innocent we all are...EVERYONE... until we are told we are not. I believe, were either going to turn to that LOVE or were not. When we return to this place of Love, we have to unveil/unblock all those old beliefs and THAT I HAVE FOUND CAN BE A FULL TIME JOB! I am learning patience and acceptance as this process continues to take place in me. Special you have a special day! xo
I hope you enjoyed a lovely day with your baby boy.
Feelings of envy and jealousy are quite painful in my experience. What a relief and joy to sit with that in loving silence as you have. Quite a powerful growing experience I think.
I just had an connecting insight about \'sitting with\' an emotion, meaning, for me, that \"sitting with\" [experiencing this feeling] will not kill me! It no longer needs to be avoided at all costs.
For me, that\'s good to know!