Laughing heals
An artist, a pastor and a cowboy...Three people were visiting and viewing the Grand Canyon -- an artist, a pastor and a cowboy. As they stood on the edge of that massive abyss, each one responded with a cry of exclamation. The artist said, "Ah, what a beautiful scene to paint!" The minister cried, "What a wonderful example of the handiwork of God!" The cowboy mused, "What a terrible place to lose a cow!"
Who destroyed the walls of Jericho?A minister, responsible for the religious education in a school once visited one of the classes, to check out the education level. He asked the students: "Please tell me, who destroyed the walls of Jericho?" One of the students stood up and said: "It was not me, Sir!" (Correct Answer- JOSHUA in the Bible)The minister thought the kids were making fun of him, so he turned to the teacher and asked: "Is this the way students normally behave here?" The teacher was puzzled and answered: "I think this student is very honest and I really don't believe he could do such a thing".
Confused, the minister went to his assistant and explained to him what had happened. The assistant replied: "I know this guy very well, as well as his teacher, so I am absolutely sure none of them is guilty of destroying that wall". When the minister heard this, he made a formal complaint before the Christian Education Commission. The answer he received from them was the following: "Dear Sir, let us not make a big issue out of this. We will pay for the damages caused, accounting for them as current school repairs. Whatever the losses are, our insurance will cover them"
The Pastor, the Vicar, and the AtheistOne day a Pastor, a Vicar and an Atheist go on a fishing trip together. They are in the boat and the Pastor says," Oh! No! I left the paddles on shore!" So he proceeds to get out of the boat and walk on the water to the shore to get them. Once he had gotten back into the boat the Vicar says," Oh! No! I left the bait on shore too!" And like the Pastor the Vicar exits the boat and walks on the water to get the bait. When the Vicar climbs back into the boat the atheist yells," Well if you guys can do it so can I!!!" and proceeds to c limb out of the boat, but he falls into the water. At this point the Pastor says," Do you think we should have told him where the rocks are?"
The businessman and the PopeDuring a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer: Change the last line of the Lord's prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken." and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities. The Pope declined. 2 weeks later the man approached the Pope again. This time with a 50 million dollar offer. Again the Pope declined. A month later the man offers 100 million, this time the Pope accepts. At a meeting of the Cardinals, The Pope announces his decision in the good news/bad news format. The good news is... that we have 100 million dollars for charities. The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account!
Poorest preacher we ever hadThe Baptist preacher just finished his sermon for the day and proceeded toward the back of the church for his usual greetings and handshaking as the congregation left the church. After shaking a few adult hands he came upon the seven year old son of one of the Deacons of the church. "Good morning, Jonathan," the preacher said as he reached out to shake Jonathan's hand. As he was doing so he felt something in the palm of Jonathan's hand. "What's this?" the preacher asked. "Money," said Jonathan with a big smile on his face, "It's for you!" "I don't want to take your money, Jonathan," the preacher answered. "I want you to have it," said Jonathan. After a short pause Jonathan continued, "My daddy says you're the ever poorest preacher we ever had and I want to help you."
NOTE - Through all this medical nightmare with family members, God kept sending me pennies at places I had to go. Pennies on the ground forgotten or thrown away by folks who felt them worthless. I was always encouraged and able to smile. Why? The penny as small and “worthless” as it is spoke loudly - - - IN GOD WE TRUST. I never need be afraid & the penny God sent into my life at most unexpected places or times shouted loudly the truth!
Who destroyed the walls of Jericho?A minister, responsible for the religious education in a school once visited one of the classes, to check out the education level. He asked the students: "Please tell me, who destroyed the walls of Jericho?" One of the students stood up and said: "It was not me, Sir!" (Correct Answer- JOSHUA in the Bible)The minister thought the kids were making fun of him, so he turned to the teacher and asked: "Is this the way students normally behave here?" The teacher was puzzled and answered: "I think this student is very honest and I really don't believe he could do such a thing".
Confused, the minister went to his assistant and explained to him what had happened. The assistant replied: "I know this guy very well, as well as his teacher, so I am absolutely sure none of them is guilty of destroying that wall". When the minister heard this, he made a formal complaint before the Christian Education Commission. The answer he received from them was the following: "Dear Sir, let us not make a big issue out of this. We will pay for the damages caused, accounting for them as current school repairs. Whatever the losses are, our insurance will cover them"
The Pastor, the Vicar, and the AtheistOne day a Pastor, a Vicar and an Atheist go on a fishing trip together. They are in the boat and the Pastor says," Oh! No! I left the paddles on shore!" So he proceeds to get out of the boat and walk on the water to the shore to get them. Once he had gotten back into the boat the Vicar says," Oh! No! I left the bait on shore too!" And like the Pastor the Vicar exits the boat and walks on the water to get the bait. When the Vicar climbs back into the boat the atheist yells," Well if you guys can do it so can I!!!" and proceeds to c limb out of the boat, but he falls into the water. At this point the Pastor says," Do you think we should have told him where the rocks are?"
The businessman and the PopeDuring a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer: Change the last line of the Lord's prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken." and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities. The Pope declined. 2 weeks later the man approached the Pope again. This time with a 50 million dollar offer. Again the Pope declined. A month later the man offers 100 million, this time the Pope accepts. At a meeting of the Cardinals, The Pope announces his decision in the good news/bad news format. The good news is... that we have 100 million dollars for charities. The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account!
Poorest preacher we ever hadThe Baptist preacher just finished his sermon for the day and proceeded toward the back of the church for his usual greetings and handshaking as the congregation left the church. After shaking a few adult hands he came upon the seven year old son of one of the Deacons of the church. "Good morning, Jonathan," the preacher said as he reached out to shake Jonathan's hand. As he was doing so he felt something in the palm of Jonathan's hand. "What's this?" the preacher asked. "Money," said Jonathan with a big smile on his face, "It's for you!" "I don't want to take your money, Jonathan," the preacher answered. "I want you to have it," said Jonathan. After a short pause Jonathan continued, "My daddy says you're the ever poorest preacher we ever had and I want to help you."
NOTE - Through all this medical nightmare with family members, God kept sending me pennies at places I had to go. Pennies on the ground forgotten or thrown away by folks who felt them worthless. I was always encouraged and able to smile. Why? The penny as small and “worthless” as it is spoke loudly - - - IN GOD WE TRUST. I never need be afraid & the penny God sent into my life at most unexpected places or times shouted loudly the truth!
Replies