Lately I wonder
I have been here now for almost 3 years. I came here because of the things that I have been through and experienced in my life. It's true, I am older than most that are on this site. I joined 4 basic groups. I have been through a divorce years ago so, I felt I qualified for the Breakups & Divorce Group. I have been through a Nervous Breakdown and Depression so, I felt I qualified for the Depression Group. I had a son killed in a car wreck in 2005, so, I felt I qualified for the Bereavement Group. I have been a Minister and Pastor for 34 years so, I felt I would join the Christian church 24/7 group.
Ever since I have been here, I have reached out to those in the Breakups & Divorce Groups, Depression Group, and the Bereavement Groups. I have tried to be an encourager for those dealing with the situations and issues that arise in life, that these groups address.
Yes, I am an ex-biker, ex-alcoholic, drug user and Biker Gang associate. I am also a Minister, Counselor, encourager and hopefully considered a friend to those who truly know me.
I comment on the posts that I feel is relevant to what I have experienced and endured. I have pm'd those that I felt was best to keep private. Hopefully, I have been a blessing to those I have tried to help.
What amazes me is that I get lashed at by some that I compliment and try to encourage. Maybe I am just getting too old to be here. I write messages for the Christian Church 24/7 Group, almost every week and few comment about them. I even wonder if they are even read by very many.
I have undergone a lot of stress lately with my sister's stroke, my ex dying of Cancer, and a particular friend who seems to have turned against me for some reason. I have done my best to be a blessing ever since I have been here. If I have touched some hearts and lives, for the better then, maybe me being here has had some merit. Maybe it's the stress, maybe it's the depression coming back, maybe it's the fact that I am just getting to old to be productive here anymore, I don't know. I am down about things lately but, I was told to write my feelings down so, I did, for whatever it's worth.
Ever since I have been here, I have reached out to those in the Breakups & Divorce Groups, Depression Group, and the Bereavement Groups. I have tried to be an encourager for those dealing with the situations and issues that arise in life, that these groups address.
Yes, I am an ex-biker, ex-alcoholic, drug user and Biker Gang associate. I am also a Minister, Counselor, encourager and hopefully considered a friend to those who truly know me.
I comment on the posts that I feel is relevant to what I have experienced and endured. I have pm'd those that I felt was best to keep private. Hopefully, I have been a blessing to those I have tried to help.
What amazes me is that I get lashed at by some that I compliment and try to encourage. Maybe I am just getting too old to be here. I write messages for the Christian Church 24/7 Group, almost every week and few comment about them. I even wonder if they are even read by very many.
I have undergone a lot of stress lately with my sister's stroke, my ex dying of Cancer, and a particular friend who seems to have turned against me for some reason. I have done my best to be a blessing ever since I have been here. If I have touched some hearts and lives, for the better then, maybe me being here has had some merit. Maybe it's the stress, maybe it's the depression coming back, maybe it's the fact that I am just getting to old to be productive here anymore, I don't know. I am down about things lately but, I was told to write my feelings down so, I did, for whatever it's worth.
Replies
YOU ARE A WONDERFUL \'FRIEND\'
DON\'T EVER THINK FOR ONCE, OTHERWISE OK ?
LOVE YA
First of all, I\'m sorry to hear about your ex\'s death... I hadn\'t realized she passed... Secondly, you are a wonderful friend... Don\'t let someone else make you think other wise... I can\'t always spend the time on these boards that I would like, as my job prefers me to be working, so I can\'t always respond as quickly as I would like, which is why I missed hearing about your ex.... However, YOU are always there - for all of us!
All I can say, take the bad with a grain of salt, this person may have been having a bad day and took it out on you, unfortunately... I know I\'ve done that to my sister several times since my Husband\'s suicide... I don\'t mean to, she just says something that hits me the wrong way at that moment... I always go back and apologize because I truly don\'t want to hurt her feelings... Hopefully, that\'s all this is as well...
((HUGGING you)), Karen
In reality, it shouldn\'t matter if anyone is reading what you were writing. You speak to God without Him giving you feedback on whether or not He is listening. Will you stop doing that, because you have no proof that He hears you? I hope you understand the point I\'m trying to make. If what you are writing in your group is spreading God\'s word, then by your own belief it should not matter who is listening. On your day of Judgement, He will not judge you on how many people you managed to get to listen. He will only take note of how hard you tried and how devoted you were to spreading His word. You can lead a horse to water but you can\'t make it drink. Be proud of the effort your making, and take comfort in knowing that it does make a difference, even if that difference is felt only by you.
Thanks to you who have commented. I have \"down times\" I guess like everyone. I have been under a lot of stress lately. Friends who I have known for years and have \"went to bat for\" have personally attacked me verbally, in front of people and it has really bothered me. I have to deal with this as well as deal with those who have attacked me here too. It gets tough sometimes when you try to help and you get \"slapped in the face\" so to speak. Magicdio. you are right in what you stated. It shouldn\'t matter to me if people read what I write or not. Thanks for reminding me of that. I guess I just wanted some feedback from some to let me know whether what I have written has helped anyone. Thanks again.
Oldbiker
You are very much appreciated as a dear friend. Your writings are appreciated. You have been through lot a stress lately. My sympathies to you in the passing away of your ex and sister being in the hospital. Don\'t get down on yourself. You are never too old to share friendship. God bless and take care.
I if I misled anyone in my above post about my ex., I apologize. She is dying of cancer. She has not passed away yet. She is still on a Trach Ventilator, and a feeding tube. She has had 2 rounds of Chemo and Dr.s are to run more tests this week to see if they have done any good. They are to give my kids some type of prognosis and how much time she has left, if possible. Again, I apologize if I misled anyone by stating \"my ex dying of cancer\". I meant she is dying of cancer.
You and your family including your ex wife are in my prayers. God bless and take care.
You are a new friend to me but, I truely am blessed to get to know you and all your experiences you share with me and all of us here at DS, I am sorry you are going thru a bad time, but this will pass and you will find that happiness again. God bless my friend and you are always in my prayers.
Peace,
D
Oh one more thing, don\'t let Ignorant people get you down, I think you know what I mean. Some people will get what they have coming to them. All they like to do it make other people miserable with them. You keep your spirits up and keep doing what your doing. Karma will get the ones that have nothing but Sarcastic comments to make to you...shame on them. You have a happy day and smile:)
sometimes the things you say and do for others touch them so deeply in their hearts that there are no words that seem to fit to tell you how much you mean to them. \'be not weary in well doing for in due season...\' in His time you will know the impact you have had on the lives of those around you. until then keep doing what your doing and do it unto others but for Him.
Hang in there and remember who you are. It doesnt matter what anyone thinks about you except for the Lord. Everything else is secondary. Dont let Satan get to you.
Thank you for being a friend. God bless you,
Ellen
before i even read about all your frustration, i was encouraged by your testimony. i don\'t get to spend a lot of time on the puter and sometimes i just don\'t have mush to say, but i know feelings of worthlessness and uselessness don\'t come from God
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Remeber what the word says. If they hated me they will hate you. I probably have that wrong but the same meaning there. You have helped me so much thru so much. Your plate is just full right now. I heard the christian group is being attacked by satan two of my friends have left there. But you can do this my friend , we all will help!~~~Debbie
I can see here just how many people care about you my friend.. many do.. The groups you have joined are groups where a lot of emotion can be \'felt\'.. sometimes moods aren\'t stable and people can lash out or their perception of what was written can be misread... all who know you know you are a terrific person..Jan..xx