Late night thoughts
It's late and I'm looking at my dog. My 15 year old dog who spent her entire life eating fruit and vegetables and high-quality dog food. Now, with her advancing years, she's still walking well, playing, acting like a dog years younger. Yet, six months ago I was telling her goodbye. She had a seizure and my husband and I rushed her to the animal hospital in the middle of the night. She had to stay there overnight and they were talking brain cancer and other scary things. My husband was preparing me for the worst. She's my first dog and I love her so much.
A few days later, my dog came home blind in one eye, not able to walk on her own without difficulty and had to be carried down the stairs. We live on the second floor, so carrying her thirty pounds was not easy. Less than three weeks later she made a complete recovery. She's running around like a puppy and can see.
But my DH is gone, something I hadn't expected to happen first. How did this happen, I found myself asking. And then the answer came. Yes, both were prayed for, but unlike my dog, my husband was overweight, never ate well, didn't get enough rest. In short, my dog has a better record for maintaining her health. And me, well, I was able to do for my dog what I couldn't do for my husband--make him lead a healthier life.
Now, I tried. I taped programs about health for him to watch(one just a day before he became sick). I brought Wii exercise games for him to participate. He wouldn't do it. Said he had to work on the business. I told him what difference does the business make if you end up paying the money out to the doctor and pharmacist. Now, I'm throwing away tons of stuff from said business--all of it worthless.
He died of an aneurysm. The doctor said due to his high blood pressure it ruptured. Right before it happened my husband confessed to having added salt back into his diet. This after I'd told him his blood pressure was high.
Okay. I'm very upset because I did everything I could to get him to take better care of himself. Now, I'm sitting here with my beloved dog who is enjoying a very happy old age. No arthritis, no heart disease, just looking for the next carrot, lettuce, etc. And my husband...well he's happy where he is, but I'm walking through hell and his daughter and grandkids are walking right along side me. Heck of a price to pay for a big mac.
A few days later, my dog came home blind in one eye, not able to walk on her own without difficulty and had to be carried down the stairs. We live on the second floor, so carrying her thirty pounds was not easy. Less than three weeks later she made a complete recovery. She's running around like a puppy and can see.
But my DH is gone, something I hadn't expected to happen first. How did this happen, I found myself asking. And then the answer came. Yes, both were prayed for, but unlike my dog, my husband was overweight, never ate well, didn't get enough rest. In short, my dog has a better record for maintaining her health. And me, well, I was able to do for my dog what I couldn't do for my husband--make him lead a healthier life.
Now, I tried. I taped programs about health for him to watch(one just a day before he became sick). I brought Wii exercise games for him to participate. He wouldn't do it. Said he had to work on the business. I told him what difference does the business make if you end up paying the money out to the doctor and pharmacist. Now, I'm throwing away tons of stuff from said business--all of it worthless.
He died of an aneurysm. The doctor said due to his high blood pressure it ruptured. Right before it happened my husband confessed to having added salt back into his diet. This after I'd told him his blood pressure was high.
Okay. I'm very upset because I did everything I could to get him to take better care of himself. Now, I'm sitting here with my beloved dog who is enjoying a very happy old age. No arthritis, no heart disease, just looking for the next carrot, lettuce, etc. And my husband...well he's happy where he is, but I'm walking through hell and his daughter and grandkids are walking right along side me. Heck of a price to pay for a big mac.
Replies
Norman was the same, he loved his food and the fattier and meatier the better. I, like you, spent years trying to get him to eat a healthier diet but to no avail. He wasn\'t overweight but he had the classic large belly which is supposed to be the most dangerous but he rarely bothered about it. His view was always that he was more concerned about enjoying his life than about a healthy diet. He smoked on and off for years as well, another source of conflict between us although he did finally give up. We did our best but there are no guarrantees on health and life so I try not to feel guilty about it now that I didn\'t try harder and succeed and I don\'t blame him for refusing to listen. It does make you think hard though about all those things like business and money that we think are so important in life and so worthless to them afterwards and meaningless to us without them. It\'s so very hard isn\'t it living with constant \'what ifs\'. I feel for you and for myself and for all the others who lost their dreams along with their future as they saw it. We\'ll do the best we can now to get through and hopefully build another future that is not just bearable but brings joy and happiness back to our lives, not the same but enough. Love and hugs to you, Lottie
My husband always ate healthy food. He always said I never ate enough fruit and veggies, He took his BP 4 times a day. Exercised. took tons of BP meds.Then he died from error made during aeortic anuerysm surgery, so one never knows. He watched his weight and never over- indulged in anything. The MDs could never bring down his BP. So who knows why these things happen.
I know how you feel. Frank always had a belly, just part of his family genetics. Five years ago they found that he had blockage in his right leg arteries, put in stints to open them. As he lay on the table he heard the Dr say that if he didn\'t quit smoking he\'d be back in 2 years. That day he started to quit smoking and started to change his diet. He added exercise to his life, a thing he only did when he had a physical to pass in the Navy. He had dropped weight he was down from 2 pack a day to 2 cigaretts a day. He was doing everything right and in October of 08 while on vacation he had a silent heart attack. We came home and for three more days thought he had a cold. When he finally allowed me to get him to the ER his artery was completely blocked, and 7 hours after he entered the hospital he died an an induced coma. You never know what going to happen, you do what you think if good for your health to improve it, and it sometimes dosn\'t work. To little to late as my son says. I feel every word of what you said its hard to look back and think what if. I\'m with you, never liked big Macs anyway. Pet the pooch for me she sounds like a heck of a pet.. Hugs Jane
Jim ate well, exercised and always kept his weight in line. However, he (we) smoked and he died from an aggressive form of lung/bone cancer in only 35 days. My only consulations, when I can think to remember them, are that he lived life to the fullest, didn\'t have to suffer long and fought as hard as he could to live. I know he didn\'t want me or the kids to be going through this hell........but
our great grief is the price my kids and I have to pay for our great love for him. Give your doggie a pet and I hope today is better for you. My two Boston Terriers have been a great comfort to me on my awful journey. Dianne
Craig walked 10 - 15 miles per day, usually carrying a heavy load and always briskly. He ate very carefully and was well hydrated. He had never been sick before - injured on the job, but not sick - and didn\'t know how to deal with the cancer. You need not to blame yourself for making him take care of himself when there are so many other unknowns. We all do our best but it isn\'t always the only factor.
Frank was very fit,his job was manual and physical,he worked outside in all weathers.He had stopped smoking 11 years ago,stopped drinking for 5 years,went hill climbing,mountain climbing,he walked everywhere,his blood pressure he was told was low,he was a fit man.l think myself it doesant matter what you do,what mediacations you take,your time ends when your time is up,l think stress is the biggest killer.
Alice
My mom passed away of the same disease. She wasn\'t overweight, maintained her diet, exercised properly and she wasn\'t remotely sick except for a light cough and cold on that horrible day when we lost her.
I and my dad went asking several doctors, if this could be prevented, they said, no. No matter what we did, we couldn\'t save her. That\'s something we have to live with. You did the best you could, as you must know and couldn\'t have prevented it.
And you\'re right, we are walking through hell....this is a long tunnel...
Take care...
My Dan was a picture of health. He was in good shape. He didn\'t always eat super healthy, but he was trim and fit. He NEVER went to the doctor for illness once during our entire married life, until the day he went for his severe shoulder pain that led to his stage 4 cancer diagnosis.
He has an older brother who has been a dysfunctional alcoholic for 40+ years, smokes one cigarette after another, used drugs, had numerous sexual partners, has had many periods of malnutrition because he chose alcohol over food. The doctor said my husband\'s cancer was genetic. Yet, it spared his 68 year old brother and took my 45 year old husband who never smoked, drank, used drugs.....
So, don\'t beat yourself (or your husband) up too much. We just never know.
Glad your little doggy made a good recovery. My little one had a spinal injury that finally got her 2 years ago, but she spent many years dragging her little body around this house. I would carry her around in a baby sling strapped to my chest because she wanted to be with me so bad and it was so hard for her- good thing she only weighed 7 lbs. She was such a blessing and I wish I would have had her to help me at this time.