Late Night/Early Morning Blogging

I'm having a little anxiety attack right now and thought I'd write a journal entry to kind of distract myself from it.  I had a panic attack earlier while I was walking around the track with my best friend Dave.  I think it's from drinking that coffee before we went to work out.  I bought a coffee at the 7-11 to wake me up a bit before our workout.  I forgot how too much caffeine can make me feel so anxious.  
Anyway, me and Dave have been working out consistently for two weeks now.  This week will be our third week of exercising.  I like him a lot.  He knows that I'm gay and he's very supportive and such a great friend.  He's straight, and I'm not trying to "convert" him or anything, I just have a huge crush on him lol.  He has to know that by now.  We've been close friends for a little over 2 years now.  We've been hanging out a lot lately aside from working out together every night.  We also hang out on the weekends, and sometimes I get to spend the night at his house and we play video games and watch movies and what not.  So far this year we've seen the movie Brave and The Amazing Spiderman.  Those were really good movies.  We sometimes go out for lunch or dinner too which is cool.  I haven't had a close friend like Dave in a long time aside from Patrick.  But, Dave is different because we don't ever argue, I don't ever feel like I'm walking on eggshells when I'm around him.  I feel like I can be myself which is like a breath of fresh air for me as opposed to hanging out with Patrick.  I haven't really had a strong friendship with a straight guy before, except for my friend Richard who I was friend with growing up.  I'm thankful to have Dave as a friend. 
I haven't heard from Patrick for almost a week now.  I wonder how he's doing, but at the same time it's been kinda nice not talking to him.  It sounds bad because he's my friend and I want to be there for him, but at the same time he kind of brings me down when I'm around him. I don't feel that way when i'm around any of my other friends.  It's so weird.  I cut off contact with my friend Crystal, and I feel bad about that too.  Part of me wants to get back in contact with her though.  I've cut off contact with Melissa and Heather too.  With Heather I stopped talking to her like 2 years ago because she lied and stole from me, and with Melissa she was a bad influence on me.  I would've cut off contact with Patrick too if i didn't feel that he should have a second chance.  He did pretty much steal all of the money that I had saved up with him for our plans to get a house.  That was a little over $2,000 dollars or so that I had saved up from my financial aid refund from school and some from work too.  When I think about it I get pretty upset and angry.  I just know I can't trust him with money, and won't be letting him borrow any money anymore either.  
He probably hasn't contacted me because he needs space too.  I can understand that and I'm content with it too.  I think this week has been a lot less stressful having not talked to Patrick at all.  I really feel like I should get back in contact with Crystal again.  I mean it's not like she did anything wrong to me, it's just that she and Patrick were best friends before and now Patrick doesn't talk to her anymore, and I was caught in the middle of both of them and didn't want to have to pick sides or anything.  Ugh...  Whatever.