Late at night
During the day the rational me shows up. She's savy, competent, smart, logical. Late at night a differnt woman appears: She's needy, scared, and feels abandoned. Since I'm a religious woman, and completly believe he's in heaven, I can't help but feel that he left me. I know it's stupid, but sometimes, late at night, I almost picture him in heaven having a good time, and what can I say, I'm envious.
Like I stated, it doesn't make sense, but here I am.
Like I stated, it doesn't make sense, but here I am.
Replies
I am also starting to get familiar again with my rational side but that needy woman keeps popping back, not just at night but often uninvited and unexpected through the day also. And her timing is pretty bad, usually when I\'m not expecting her and she\'s really not helping. I guess this shows how little control we have over our emotions in these early stages. Hopefully it will get easier and our lives will settle down again. It\'s so easy at times to envy those that have gone and don\'t have to cope with the loss and pain. It\'s supposed to be character forming I believe but I\'d gladly settle for my old character with all its faults and not go through this. As you say, here we are and we\'ll do the best we can. Love and hugs to you, Lottie
At the start of all this grief,l missed Frank so much in the night,you wake up he,s not there,l found this really the hardest part.l have often thought of Frank being around all his family,friends that have passed on,and looking down on me,but one day l know l will join him,until then,its another day.
take care
Alice
Ditto everything you said. Never thought of it that way but I definitely know what you mean about being 2 different women. But in my case, the abandoned one can sneak up any time of day and catches me off guard sometimes.
I get a little envious too. Sometimes, I just can\'t stand it that he has all the answers now and I am still down here wondering....
Hugs
Angie