Late and lonely

I should be in bed but awake and thinking. My world has gotten so small this last month. Normally have friends and activities, but I have distanced. Not because I do not want to be with people but because it does not seem fullfilling and for some reason trust is gone. My world has never seemed so small. Okay ,I know that is the depression, lack of sleep and negative messaging. I do not want to go to bed because I do not want to face tommorrow. Days are very hard to start and last week days did not  begin until late afternoon.I want to get through this and just get back to a normal life again. My life is really good, I just cannot feel the good. I just feel overwhelmed and cannot see my way out. I have an appointment with my therapist this week and I will tell him everything. I am not going to do anything stupid but I seem to have the thoughts a lot and there is comfort in thinking if I cannot get out ,there is always that. It is very embarrassing for me to say that. I have always, at least for a long time, been the sensible, strong one. There it is. Now what?