Lately...

So lately I have been having a rough time just being around, I had a track meet today and it actually went very well I did pretty good. As a team we got 2nd in the 4x1 and 1st in the 4x4 and I came in 2nd in the open 400. The team we faced was very good to I am really exhausted, but that's not the reason I am writing. I am writing because as of right now my only friends are the people on my track team, and I don't really like hanging out with them more than I already do, lifting with them, running with them, going to meetings with them just seems like I am forced to see them and that's not what I need. I need some true friends that I can talk to and be friends with. Currently I am down to zero friends and I just want to fit in...not because I do sports and shit like that, but for who I really am, but I get the feeling that if I would open up more I could make more friends I guess I am just scared about what people think about me. I know it shouldn't matter what other people think about me it's really just starting to get to me now. I wish I could hang out with some people on this site. I mean I know some really cool people who give a lot of good support and they just chat with me and listen and it feels good to get things out of my head and get support from people who are willing to talk to me and that just feels good to me, that someone will actually take the time to sit and talk to me for a little bit because ultimately I have no body...It's kind of shameful to say that I have no friends and I am actually more embarrassed about it always walking around school by myself, going to get lunch by myself, studying by myself, just being by myself is very depressing. I think if I don't start making good friends soon I am just going to move far away, even though I like southern California it just might not be the place for me :/