Lately...

So lately I have been having a rough time just being around, I had a track meet today and it actually went very well I did pretty good. As a team we got 2nd in the 4x1 and 1st in the 4x4 and I came in 2nd in the open 400. The team we faced was very good to I am really exhausted, but that's not the reason I am writing. I am writing because as of right now my only friends are the people on my track team, and I don't really like hanging out with them more than I already do, lifting with them, running with them, going to meetings with them just seems like I am forced to see them and that's not what I need. I need some true friends that I can talk to and be friends with. Currently I am down to zero friends and I just want to fit in...not because I do sports and shit like that, but for who I really am, but I get the feeling that if I would open up more I could make more friends I guess I am just scared about what people think about me. I know it shouldn't matter what other people think about me it's really just starting to get to me now. I wish I could hang out with some people on this site. I mean I know some really cool people who give a lot of good support and they just chat with me and listen and it feels good to get things out of my head and get support from people who are willing to talk to me and that just feels good to me, that someone will actually take the time to sit and talk to me for a little bit because ultimately I have no body...It's kind of shameful to say that I have no friends and I am actually more embarrassed about it always walking around school by myself, going to get lunch by myself, studying by myself, just being by myself is very depressing. I think if I don't start making good friends soon I am just going to move far away, even though I like southern California it just might not be the place for me :/

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Come to Humboldt but don\'t do drugs!!!!!!!!!!!! Ha ha.
Are in college there?
I used to walk around high school all the time with no one. Everyone hated me. You know how many loaners there are? Billions. I used to be so shy and it was so hard, after my mood improved I am so much more friendly and talkative to strangers. It\'s all confidence. You should hang out with your track friends after school and then you can meet more and more of positive influences. By the way, I used to be a long distance runner. I love it, but never get the time to run for more than 15 minutes now a days.
AdamTyler
AdamTyler

Thanks Breah! I would absolutly love Humboldt, I actually have always wanted to visit the Mendocino Line I hear it is just breath-taking beautiful.
But I think my dream would be to live in Redding, I think it\'s lovely there.
Also yea it kinda sucks to be all alone, but I get used to it and I don\'t really think spending more time with my team is a very good idea. I just get tired of the same old shit they say every single day. I just need new scenery and maybe just a place where I can be loved or something?? I have no idea but talking to you always puts a smile on my face :) thanks alot!