Last two days....

Well, the last few days have been weird. I have had to help with Christmas, which I never mind doing. My mother had a bit of a melt down yesterday. I had to deal with it. God...it was awful. She claims to hate her life, and told me to fuck off. So, I was really pissed yesterday, and was mad earlier. I kind of snapped on my boyfriend, and I am so so mad at myself for doing so. I feel so bad!! I hurt his feelings...and I doing that. So, now I have slipped up again and taken Xanax. I also smoked some weed. I don't know what I am going to do. I hope I don't push my boyfriend away :[ I really feel lonely, and I have no one to talk too!! 

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deleted_user
deleted_user

Fortunately you do have your Ds friends. I am sure most of understand what it is like to have a parent that is on the edge like that. Not having an outlet for that kind of energy that is dumped into you is very tough. Hopefully yopur boy understands.

THe holiday season is stressful, there are so many pressures to perform financially as well as socially. Taking a step back and understanding that it isnt YOU might help.

Hang in there and make your part of this season bright and merry as much as you possibly can. hugs and best wishes.... Merry Christmas