Last night was terrible.
So this is day 3 without getting my reassurance about the stroke fear first thing in the morning. I also woke up with a headache today too. Again, just like i did yesterday.
Last night was terrible for me. I had a HUGE panic attack. All of the sudden the sound just sounded lower to me, it was almost like i went kind of deaf and it was really scary. Then i felt like i wasnt talking right, i flipped out and started screaming that i was having a stroke, and sudden deafness isnt even on the stroke symptoms list. It scares me so much that i couldnt hear good. All i wanted to do was call 911 and go to the ER. But i didnt. Instead i just stood there shaking, yelling and screaming at the top of my lungs IM HAVING A STROKE!!!!! I was terrified. But im not even sure if its because i was really scared i was having a stroke or if its because i was scared i was going to yell out the secret that ive been holding back for a long time. I dont know. But all i know is i was terrified.
I am still scared i am going to have a stroke and hopefully this fear dies down a lot more than it has. Ivd noticed that the people who usually reassure me that im not having a stroke ARENT reassuring me anymore. And its causing me to be extremely anxious and angry, not angry at them but angry at myself because i feel like i need the reassurance. It's very frustrating.
Last night was terrible for me. I had a HUGE panic attack. All of the sudden the sound just sounded lower to me, it was almost like i went kind of deaf and it was really scary. Then i felt like i wasnt talking right, i flipped out and started screaming that i was having a stroke, and sudden deafness isnt even on the stroke symptoms list. It scares me so much that i couldnt hear good. All i wanted to do was call 911 and go to the ER. But i didnt. Instead i just stood there shaking, yelling and screaming at the top of my lungs IM HAVING A STROKE!!!!! I was terrified. But im not even sure if its because i was really scared i was having a stroke or if its because i was scared i was going to yell out the secret that ive been holding back for a long time. I dont know. But all i know is i was terrified.
I am still scared i am going to have a stroke and hopefully this fear dies down a lot more than it has. Ivd noticed that the people who usually reassure me that im not having a stroke ARENT reassuring me anymore. And its causing me to be extremely anxious and angry, not angry at them but angry at myself because i feel like i need the reassurance. It's very frustrating.
Replies
i hope therapy goes well today and you are able to let out a lot of stuff youve been holding in. we all care about you and it sounds like your really starting to deal with some real issues. I will pray God stays near and guides you thru your journay of healing and recovery peace and love to you leah your friend L.