Last Night

I guess this could be a bit of a warning to you all if I'm not around. I don't want to go into too much detail...I'm tired of it all. Ended up with me at about 3:30am getting up to go downstairs and OD. What I didn't expect was that my Mum had obviously asked my Brother to sleep with his door open. There was no way I could get downstairs without being heard.So I'm alone at the moment. My Mum has gone to visit my Nan in hospital and my Brother has gone to have his hair cut. The perfect time to get the tablets ready to try again tonight if I still feel the same. At the moment I do which is a promising sign. I feel it's the only option left. I can't carry on like this anymore.The only reason I'm not doing it now is because I know my Mum will blame herself for going out to visit my Nan. I couldn't do that. She asked me if I would be alright while she went and I said yes. I'll keep that promise even if I can't keep any others.I just hope I have enough...

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Please don\'t do this. Your mom is going to blame herself no matter what. But the main point is that you don\'t want to throw away your life like this. Don\'t do ED the favor. One of my friends always says suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. And she is so right. You are in such a depression right now that you can\'t see the light but we can see it and tell you that it\'s there. Please flush the pills, tell your mom what you were about to do. You need to be IP if you ask me. I wish I had your mom\'s number.
deleted_user
deleted_user

i dont know you hun, but taking pills is not the answer and you will only end being really sick and having your stomach pumped... and your family will feel so awful and blame themselves.
reach out and ask for support from your family and friends or even sometimes just taking to a stranger can help. im here if you need anyone to listen.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Please don\'t do it, you are worth living. Karrin is so right, this is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Let\'s try to find even a temporary solution. Your so young and have so much see and learn yet. Don\'t hurt yourself because it will hurt your family and friends no matter when, how, or where you do it. Do you believe in anything? Something greater than yourself?
deleted_user
deleted_user

So many people will drown in a sea of tears if you do this. We are all counting on you to pull through this misery. The chance is great that you will end up physically and emotionally worse off than you are now. The pain will live on in the hearts of so many. Please reach out. we are here and care about you so much.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Please don\'t do anything. Suicide is never an option. It would hurt your family so much. I know you don\'t want to cause that kind of pain for them. I agree with the others, it\'s a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Please don\'t hurt yourself. I know you don\'t know me, but I\'ve seen you around and you are such a sweet person. If you need to talk, I\'m here. BIG HUGS!
deleted_user
deleted_user

you have to think of your family, you just cant do this to them.... please love them enough to keep fighting, even a little....
deleted_user
deleted_user

Hey, I came to read your journal straight away after seeing your message on the SI board! Because i care for you, and i hope your okay! As grandiose said- your SUCH a nice person; dont let your feelings at the minute finish everything. As most people here are saying, talking to your mum and flushing the pills is the best way forward. Please dont do anything, were all here for you if you think we can help.

Hope your okay, cjx
deleted_user
deleted_user

I wish I could let those words from all of you sink in...but I\'m too numb. I\'ve self harmed to get me through till now and so I\'m feeling spaced. I\'m going offline now.

Thank you everyone for keeping me company tonight, love you all xxx
deleted_user
deleted_user

I haven\'t talked to you, but I feel your pain. I was in that place just a few weeks ago and ended up in a psych ward (no fun at all). Please Please Please don\'t OD. Most of the time it doesn\'t work and you just end up in a psych ward feeling worse. Please let me know if there\'s anything I can do to help. You can talk to me anytime. I\'m trying so hard not to be there because. I\'m trying so hard to numb out. I\'m also a good listener so I really mean it. Send me a message anytime hun. XOXOXO
deleted_user
deleted_user

Sorry you hurt yourself. But if it keeps you from doing more damage so be it. I hope you sleep through the night and tomorrow looks brighter
deleted_user
deleted_user

I attempted suicide once. At the time it seemed like there was nothing to live for. No hope. I\'m here five years later and so thankful I survived. Things may be bad now but there is always a brighter day ahead. We all go through rough spots you just need to grow from it as a person. You will be stronger once you get through this. You can get through this!
deleted_user
deleted_user

Please read my previous reply to your journal. I wrote my feelings all down the night I went to the psychology ward at the hospital. Mine was an uplifting experience because I met so many people there that I really cared about/ It helped me see my relationships better and allowed me to hang on. Please, please ask for help!!!!