Last Day
The GKs go back to the maternal grandparents tomorrow morning. According to my spider senses, the disconnects which began on Monday turned out to be homesickness. The remainder of the week hasnae been horrible but each cry of "I want to go home." has deepened my sense that I have already lost my two older GKs and willnae ever get to know the third. Not the greatest surprise in my broken life but painful, nonetheless. Life is as life is, nay as we would have it.
I am grateful for the impulse to buy a small photo album for each of the older GKs which we have since filled with photos of their time here at the farm. Yay me! ! ! Not even *I* can get them ALL wrong. Over the course of filling the albums, GS rambled in kindergarten meanders which caused me to think the heart of the current disconnect is a sense of divided loyalties between the city and the farm. The theme of the albums grew to, "It's okay to love more than one place. It is an amazing world we live in and every inch of it is worthy of love."
Holding the love and gentle compassion sacred. Letting God lead the dance. . .
It's okay to cry. . .
Replies
Good morning. I hope you all enjoy the day and add to those photo albums. Anther touch would be to write on the backs of the photos what they were about in the moment and date them. Kids grow so fast. Take a good picture of yourself with them and send them a copy in a few weeks in the mail. They don't get enough mail to them at that age.
yes it's okay to cry.
Hugs and a thank you for being here.
J.
Thank you, Jewells. So far so good on the morning. Prayers in progress.
'Tis a natural fact that time flies and details fade in the flight, but. . . Hyper-graphia strikes again. . . I am guilty of over-documenting my photos, Jewells. Further proof that there is nothing which cannot be carried to unhealthy extremes.
Balance in all things. . .
As the keeper of many photos I didn't always date the pictures. But wish I did.
Listening to music this morning evening out the load. The sun is beautiful as the frost.
Hugs
I hope the pics will bring you much joy...Lordy the number of pics of John in his babyhood are staggering and No I didn't date them … ugh.
I don't think you've lost the older gk, rather what you wrote about being pulled...such a confusing time for All involved. Summer is coming and the end of school year...another week visit? Still I feel the sadness and questioning and hope your dance with God will bring you some comfort and peace....hugs
The pics arenae for me. I have created and managed more graphics file systems than I bothered to count. I can't seem to see graphics through a romantic lens. Too critical with delusions of grandeur.
The picture books are for the GKs and it looks like they might be a bigger hit than their latest e-toys. At 3 and 5, STBX antics from Mommy and Daddy, protective custody, CPS, etc., etc., are ? ? ? ouchie. Big word country, on high. The photo books carry pics from the parental wedding through this week's fun for them to carry wherever they see fit. So far they are sleeping with their picture books. Who knows what the morrow shall bring?
treasures.
(((Arfie))). Sounds like a sometimes difficult though treasured time spent with them. Some ouchies are harder than others but I do say, great job withthe albums and the most needed acceptance of all experiences, people and places shared lesson~ it is indeed a treasure. You gave them wings~ love is indeed letting others fly<3
My daughter’s have had mixed families, as they’re half sisters, but I remember be told many stories from all the grandparents of them wanting just to go home. Many times (primarily due to my eldest’s custody agreement) the urge to run back to mommy wasn’t ever personal but there were all kinds of changes going on in our lives at those time that they were craving a ‘security blanket’ of mommy (mostly).
And honestly, I was the same the first few times I was sent back to visit my grandparents and extended family as my dad jumped from one job site to the next. Those first visits were during the years I was being abused by my minister where my parents had their house (or rather homemade). At that age kids are emotionally perceptive but can’t understand it. Still for as many times as I just wanted to go back to my mommy, just as soon as I got back I wanted to go back to my grandparents.
It’s okay to cry about and feel loss and pain when GK or even children spurn us for more familiar comforts.
I don’t know if my experiences will bring any hope or comfort but I just have a feeling it no time the GKs are going to be begging to come see you.
Hugs& love Arfie
No, Vltava, it doesn't help. . . Nothing makes me want to give up on the human species more thoroughly than divorce tales. They're everywhere, they're everywhere.
I’m sorry I wasn’t any help Arfie. But I agree about divorce.
Hugs
Not a problem, Vltava. The hardest part of listening to divorce tales is that I am *just* among the collateral damage. All too many mothers tell them with pride. Put another notch on your lipstick case, Oh Sexy One.