Last days

This last days I was feeling lonely. I couldn't stop thinking my friendships are not for me anymore.You know this feeling when it seems like you are running after things that one day were worthwhile but today is not anymore?  I ask myself even if this so called "friendship" exists. I started to see that maybe people are not so worried about me as I thought they were. This is part of my codepent behaviour. And when I see that things are not the way I thought of course that I feel uncomfortable and even sad. I guess I am struggling to admit that "hey there's no one for you to run, now it's with you". I think this is what people call "growing". I am still trying to figure positive sides of this new situation I have to adapt. I know it doesn't mean I have to isolate myself but right now the first reaction has been this one. I think it's natural right? And I think I should respect myself in this point, taking care not to get too sad or irritated with it. I am learning, always learning. I think I am becoming a better person with this and learning to be happier.