Lapsed after 8 months GF
Sadly, I have lapsed after being gamble free for 8 months. I would have reach my 9 months gamble free goal in 32 days. I feel so dirty and so disgusted in myself however as I have always said to myself and others it's a lesson learnt excercise now.
What have I learnt
Reenforces how easy you can fall into old habits;
Reenforces how you just loose all sight of the value of money;
Shows how things can build up and you feel the need to bindge;
It's not all bad coz I didn't gamble for 8 months and gained so much over that time;
I wont be starting from day 1 again. I am now 8 months gamble free minus one silly night. I will have to live with this so when I announce one year gamble free in 4 months time it will be 1 year with the exception of one night.
Forgot to mention that I didn't gamble because an urge it was about earning x number of points to retain my loyalty card which happens to give me free parking in the city where I work. I guess I just paid for it afterall and the casino trick to earn x number of points work. I know makes no sense.
Welcome all feedback.
What have I learnt
Reenforces how easy you can fall into old habits;
Reenforces how you just loose all sight of the value of money;
Shows how things can build up and you feel the need to bindge;
It's not all bad coz I didn't gamble for 8 months and gained so much over that time;
I wont be starting from day 1 again. I am now 8 months gamble free minus one silly night. I will have to live with this so when I announce one year gamble free in 4 months time it will be 1 year with the exception of one night.
Forgot to mention that I didn't gamble because an urge it was about earning x number of points to retain my loyalty card which happens to give me free parking in the city where I work. I guess I just paid for it afterall and the casino trick to earn x number of points work. I know makes no sense.
Welcome all feedback.
Replies
I\'m sorry!! But hey, you made it almost 8 months!!!!!! That is amazing and deserves a lot of credit. So you relapsed and you learned from it. Almost everybody does it, so you are not alone. Keep your head high and your goals strong. You can do this!!
Hey Bear- I\'d give anything to have 8 months GF - even with an \'oops\' in there.
I like your attitude that\'s it not starting all over again at day 1 as if the last how many days didn\'t mean anything AND what I learned in treatment recently - you didn\'t \'relapse\' you \'lapsed\'. A relapse is a all out going right back to where you left off verses an \'oh, shoot - I just had a lapse in judgment but I can pick it back up from here..\"
Bear..hi my friend...I like what White says...get back on my friend...new day...don\'t beat yourself up you have such determination and will power..look at all you learned in 8 months...now take that knowledge and use it...Hugs my friend...Becky
You\'re still an inspiration to me! Forgive yourself and move on and remember what you learned. My prayers are with you.
Sunnie
Thanks all for the comments and hugs! I have definately moved on now and put that one pathetic night lapse behind me.
It\'s back to reality, living, enjoying myself and reaching those goals I set myself to achieve.
Feeling good again! Also, looking forward to my trip to Phuket in about 6 weeks time.
I say Phuket. Oh is that a town? I thought it was a misspelled word. I like it anyway. I am sorry you fell down one night, but I agree, it is still 8 mos gf with one nite to overlook. I would have answered sooner but my computer has been down for ten days but today I am back on. Talk about missing something. I missed it more than my car. Just keep doing what you have been and thats working, paying off bills and enjoying life. Lots of hugs Barb
Phuket\'s in Thialand!
Yes, it is still 8 months GF - one night, which I have gained and learnt so much over that time. I\'ve put it behind me and now back on track!
I like that, no wallying in self pity. Right back on that horse like it was just a bump on the ole dirt road!