Klonopin 12/17/2013
So my regular doc prescribed Klonopin to help with my ever growing anxiety. Last night was the first night in a month that I actually slept and I only woke up with very minor anxiety. Also I only too 1/4 of a .5 mg pill.
This morning I took 1/2 of the .5 mg pill. So far I'm ok. I still have some of that sad empty feeling. It's not as bad but I truly hope I can get over this using therapy and Prozac. I hope the Prozac kicks in soon. It has been a littler over 2 weeks. The doc said it can take up to 8 weeks...ugh.
Therapy session tomorrow. I'm just going to stick with therapy and see my doc on a regular basis. I've tried too long to do this on my own but I can't. This illness needs constant treatment just like any other illness. I have asthma and I have been treating that all of my life. I need to do the same with anxiety/depression.
I'm not going to settle for good enough anymore. I've been setteling for good enough since I was a small child afraid to tell my parents about my crazy anxiety and depression. I just pushed on until it got a little better then I just "setteled".
With this illness it hides in the shadows. I knew it was there but tried to ignore it but then one relatively minor event and here I am getting pushed over the edge that quick. Now the anxious throughts about things that probably will never happen haunt me. The joke is when I'm not anxious then depression sets in and I end up feeling sad, trapped and empty.
It's like if I'm not worried then I have nothing left but to be miserable. Last night I actually had a few hours of feeling "normal". I would give anything to feel "normal" everyday. People without depression have no idea how truly lucky they are. I'm going to keep working until someday soon I can feel "normal" everyday.
This road seems so long and so hard but I'm going to surround myself with as many good people and as much information as possible. I'll try anything and everything and once I start to feel better I will continue to move forward. My mistake in 2008 is that I never fully healed. I pulled back from the edge but that was it. You can't just pull back from the edge because you will always be too close.
This time when I walk away from the edge I'm going to keep walking and never look back. If that means a lifetime of therapy, doctor visits and meds then so be it. For myself, my family, my friends and my employer I owe it to all of us to get better and stay better.
I know this will take time so I need to work on my patience and believe that God is sending me in the right direction and putting the right people in my life path. Not enjoying life has to be a sin and I refuse to allow this demon of depression to rob me of enjoying a normal healthy life.
THIS TOO SHALL PASS!
This morning I took 1/2 of the .5 mg pill. So far I'm ok. I still have some of that sad empty feeling. It's not as bad but I truly hope I can get over this using therapy and Prozac. I hope the Prozac kicks in soon. It has been a littler over 2 weeks. The doc said it can take up to 8 weeks...ugh.
Therapy session tomorrow. I'm just going to stick with therapy and see my doc on a regular basis. I've tried too long to do this on my own but I can't. This illness needs constant treatment just like any other illness. I have asthma and I have been treating that all of my life. I need to do the same with anxiety/depression.
I'm not going to settle for good enough anymore. I've been setteling for good enough since I was a small child afraid to tell my parents about my crazy anxiety and depression. I just pushed on until it got a little better then I just "setteled".
With this illness it hides in the shadows. I knew it was there but tried to ignore it but then one relatively minor event and here I am getting pushed over the edge that quick. Now the anxious throughts about things that probably will never happen haunt me. The joke is when I'm not anxious then depression sets in and I end up feeling sad, trapped and empty.
It's like if I'm not worried then I have nothing left but to be miserable. Last night I actually had a few hours of feeling "normal". I would give anything to feel "normal" everyday. People without depression have no idea how truly lucky they are. I'm going to keep working until someday soon I can feel "normal" everyday.
This road seems so long and so hard but I'm going to surround myself with as many good people and as much information as possible. I'll try anything and everything and once I start to feel better I will continue to move forward. My mistake in 2008 is that I never fully healed. I pulled back from the edge but that was it. You can't just pull back from the edge because you will always be too close.
This time when I walk away from the edge I'm going to keep walking and never look back. If that means a lifetime of therapy, doctor visits and meds then so be it. For myself, my family, my friends and my employer I owe it to all of us to get better and stay better.
I know this will take time so I need to work on my patience and believe that God is sending me in the right direction and putting the right people in my life path. Not enjoying life has to be a sin and I refuse to allow this demon of depression to rob me of enjoying a normal healthy life.
THIS TOO SHALL PASS!
Replies
I relate to everything you have written. I have had glimpses of what I think may have been normal moments, but I became so good at masking for the most part, I\'m not really certain anymore those moments were real. I too will stay on my medication for the rest of my life (at 58 I think I can say that with some certainty), I hope some day soon I will be able to get back into therapy. Must not be meant to be for me right now. It is a long, hard road, but keeping involved with people and learning as much as you can is the right path. Hang in there and know you have support here anytime you need it.
Yeah it\'s quite a bumpy road scg. I\'ve dealt with this crap for over half my life. The Christians in my life are opposed to meds even docs when it comes to mental health. They say just have faith and pray about it. However the doctor cant open the office doors fast enough for them so that he or she can help them with their gout, kidney issues, heart problems etc. Yes God is able and prayer essential to our spiritual lives, but God also equips professionals to mend and heal us for His glory. How is it that faith should be used for mental health issues because God is more than capable, but for other ailments it\'s ok to seek help? Sorry, went on a bit of a ran there.
But I say that to say this, I\'ve come back from the edge many times , I just didn\'t seek help like you seem to be determined to do. KEEP PRESSING ON!