Kinda stuck

I am writing much more these days,  my book is about my brother, he had spine bifida and we were very close, is about his wittiness, his sense of humor and how priveledge I was of having him as my brother. Is about brothers and sister and the special bond we shared, his condition blends in the background, because his life was bigger than that, at least it was for me.  He passed away more than 20 years ago, but  I still miss him.
Truth is the loved ones you loose are never forgotten in you heart.  I have written about our childhood, his first girlfriend, and that sort of stuff, that is the easy part.  But am kind of stuck because now I have to write when he got very sick and eventually passed away.  Is really hard for me to write about this, I am relieving the emotions. This is very hard, very hard.  What makes it even a little harder is that he died on the way to the hospital on my ex arms.  Life is so complicated sometimes.  I will always be grateful to my ex that my brother did not die by himself, he had someone there with him.  And I will always be grateful for the gentle way he carried him afterwards, even knowing he was gone already.
Like I said this is really hard for me, but I feel I have to finish this book, is really an ode to his life.  And no my book won't end there, I already have the ending, but is this part the one before the ending that is making me very sad.  I have been crying all day.
Any suggestions?