Kinda Scary
You know I sit here during the day and think that each time I get a little better I find a little piece of myself that I lost a long time ago. This has taken it toll on myself, my family and every part of my life. It kills me that I had to stop working too. I haven't been my real self for so many years I have no idea who I am. It is so scary. If something happens and I don't blow up my family looks at me like where is the hell raising at. I use to be so mean and htefull. I was so bound in this sickness all I was worried about was myself and how unhappy I am. But I am so thakful I have my Lord to help me chip away at all of these bad things. Each time my med gets switched and I start feeling little improvements I am at awe. I have lived sick so long that it has made me forget the person my husband fell in love with. It has made me forget the little things in life. I just started looking for it all to be bad and it was. Now that I am getting a little brain power back i am looking forward to rediscovering the "real me". I know that when I am forgiven for the things I use to do. I hated when I had no control over the Lyme rage. Especially since I didn't know it was that at the time. I just thought I was this miserable bitch who was going crazy. But I know ther is light at the end of my tunnel, it might take acouple of years to really get there but I am dedicated to getting to the life me and my family deserves. I got two more years before my daughter is 18nand i want to do all I can to make up all the bad I did in her life. Same with my husband. I just want to get to know the real me. Believe it or not I am nice and caring and like people. Who knew? I praise my savior and thank all of my freinds on here who are priceless. This site helped me realize that I M NOT ALONE AND HELP IS ONLY A CLICK AWAY. I am glad I have had a good week. I want to have a good life soon.
Replies
I am so glad you are improving. Even more important, that you are seeing the beauty in life, family and yourself! Way to go, and keep at it.