Killing me is beautiful!!

a poem of my self, by myself...
Killing me is beaultiful and I'll tell you why
Every day I'm in pain so now I want to die
I can not trust the health care team
They are not what they seem
The could care less about how I feel
and they beleive it is not real
The pain is killing me and I'm going to let it
I'll take my very last dollar and bet it
Because I'm at the point now where I don't give a shit
My body aches and wont stop I can't get rid of it
What the fuck is wrong with me?
How come it hurts so much?
I wish pain is something you can see
And something you can touch
Then maybe Doctors will care to help
and I wont just be a file on a shelf
God take me home to my babies please
I'm crying, begging, praying on my knees