kid w/ symbols to crash crying for attion for help and a monster for a stomech

ive realise for longest time now ive been acting like a kid w/ symbols trying to get attion so then i can get help w/ the learningdisabilitys and now the autism how ever that ahs not worked for years and its still hard for me to feel like im in space  trying to radio   the space ship for help (not manny people have herd that cry of help) wich sucks amd at times i feel like im stuck in a world of cant when all i want is the problems i have to go away and for me to atleast attpmt my dream of my own wich is to own a railraod of any sort but that hasnt seem likly  becase theres so little been done  i aslo find latly  i get hungry middle of the night thus aslo disrupting sleep and when i mean hungry  i mean the food will dissapaer the moment i see fodo im allowed to eat faster then priinas would when they eat aslmost as if some magician would cover the food id want to eat and ppoof  it magicly would alredy be in my stomech but latly we have ben on a eating secudal on wich food i canor cant eat due to mom needing hospital latly wich ant her fault  but the same time UGGGGG the hunger is so badit stresses me out  and that would send me stimming =-(hunger never use to be such a ishue befor i eman normaly id feel hungry and no big deal i could if i wanted to wait for mom to assit me but now im like  FOOOD NOOWWWW!!! i fear such stress would start trigguring autism meltdowns  wich ant good at all  as ive said in my last journal  things jsut keep  making thinks  a harder time for me  and i get stressed over it and its getting too much to ahdnle alone when im offline and irl